Carrie hunched over her sewing machine. The quick rattle of the needle bobbing up and down soothed her. She hadn’t had any intention of visiting her workroom. When she’d asked Martina and Rob to finish up, all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and hide. But before she hit the stairs to the second floor she’d noticed a woman wearing a straight, a-line dress and immediately an idea for a teddy came into her brain. Instead of hiding, she ended up in the basement, sifting through fabric and lace, trying to put her idea into action.
It didn’t matter that the piece would be stained with her tears. Her actions were cathartic. Hopefully by the time she was done she could regroup and try and piece her heart back together.
Carrie wasn’t concerned about being in the basement, which was Aleks’s domain. Most likely he was already in his car, driving to the bimbo’s place, and wouldn’t be home before the clock struck midnight. She would be long gone by then.
She was torn between complete devastation and complete peace. On the one hand, she just wanted to crawl into a hole. She didn’t know how she would ever recover from this. Aleks had been her heart for most of her life and it would be hard to cut him out of it. It would also be hard to keep him around knowing her dreams of a happily ever after would never come true. On the other hand, it gave her a sense of calm to finally know where she stood. Aleks bringing that bimbo to the party told her in no uncertain terms that there was nothing between them other than friendship. And maybe, just maybe, she could move on. Eventually.
She didn’t notice the figure standing in the doorway until a shadow loomed over her.
Carrie hoped like hell it was her brother or Martina or one of her parents. Anyone other than the man who she knew was standing there simply by the smell of him.
When she looked up, that same haunted look was spread across his face, but this time she didn’t feel sorry for him. This time she was angry. Despite it being a special occasion, Aleks was still Aleks, dressed in jeans and a button-up shirt. No matter what he wore, he was always the hottest man in the room.
“Don’t use that face on me,” she spat in disgust.
“What?”
“That face. The ‘woe is me’ face. The ‘I have issues and I need you to love me’ face.” “When have I ever asked you to love me?”
“Exactly!”
Carrie stood up quickly and the chair slid along the carpet. She tried to leave, but he blocked her way.
“I won’t stay in here with you. Please let me out.” “No.”
“Shouldn’t you be lying horizontal right about now?”
“Do you love me?” His words knocked her back a few feet. Carrie was glad
for the space. “Answer my question.”
“There’s nothing to answer.” She wiped her eyes, hoping that the tears wouldn’t make their way down her cheeks. “Even if I did, you can’t give me what I need and I’m obviously not enough to hold your interest.”
“Is that what you think?”
“You brought that bimbo into my house!”
“That was a mistake. I thought...I thought that’s all I was capable of. I convinced myself I
wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t...I don’t want to hurt you, Carrie.”
“Too late. You’ve been breaking my heart for years. Every time I see you with a girl. Every time you pat me on the back instead of taking me in your arms. I let myself fall in love with you and now I need to let you go.” Carrie rested her bottom on the edge of the sewing table and hung her head. “Look, I’m not an idiot, Aleks. I know I’m not perky and blond or–”
He crowded her space in less than three strides. “I don’t want blond and perky.” “Oh, no? Little Miss Compliment certainly seemed to think you were into her.” “I took her home.”
“And then you banged her.”
“No! Christ, Carrie. Will you listen?”
“I’m done listening. I’m done with this game we’ve been playing.”
“Fine! Don’t listen. Just feel.”
He captured her lips, pushing her back against the sewing machine. She tried to grab on to something, anything she could get her hands on but they flailed, grasping onto spools of thread and fabric. The only concrete thing for her to grab on to was him.
Carrie had never felt so much intensity, so much angst radiating from one sensual kiss. Aleks pulled away. Eyes that were once green were now black. “I’ll give you what you want.” “Don’t do this, Aleks.”
He looked at her. Really looked. Carrie knew anything she uttered would be unnecessary.