“Was he good?”
His question shocked me out of my own thoughts. Not to mention I didn’t want to talk about my clients with Ben, not ever.
He stepped closer, pressing his front to mine. The intensity of his eyes told me everything he was feeling. He was jealous. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t fucking hot. This possessiveness was a direct kick to my libido.
The rapid beat of my heart now had nothing to do with the nervousness of the encounter and everything to do with wanting Ben. I wasn’t naive enough to believe that the two sexual encounters we’d had over the last couple of weeks had amounted to any kind of relationship. I wasn’t looking for one anyway, but I had enjoyed every fleeting moment that Ben’s hands were on m
y body. Yet I wanted all of him. I didn’t think I could stand another half encounter.
His grip tightened on my bicep, his breath heavy and hot on my neck. “Did you like it?”
I wasn’t going to answer that, either. Besides, me liking it had never been a priority.
When I didn’t answer, he enveloped me, my body now flush against his as one hand gripped the top of my ass check and the other pressed flat against my back. As I looked around, it was as I had feared. We had drawn the attention of more than a few people sipping their cocktails, pretending to be deep in conversation, but I knew they were watching.
“The fact that you’re not answering forces me to come up with answers on my own, and I don’t like them.”
The silver lining to this conversation was that I was getting under his skin. Ben’s visible frustration was making this easier to remember that it was only a game. A means to an orgasm.
“I bet he didn’t make you forget how to put your panties on right.”
I had forgotten. That night at White Lace when he’d pressed his face between my legs…When it was all over, I was so deliriously content and satisfied that I had put my panties on backwards.
My head fell back on a gasp when he leaned in, his lips pressing against my neck. “I bet you didn’t scream his name like you did mine.”
We were definitely drawing attention now, but I wasn’t going to stop him. I didn’t want him to back away. In fact, I wanted him to get closer, growl louder, demand harder, because there was only one place this encounter was ending up. And if I had to play coy, if I had to use every female tool I had in my lady arsenal, I would. Because I wanted Ben to fuck me. I needed him to fuck me. More than I needed my next breath.
“That guy’s an asshole, Grace. Assholes don’t deserve to linger in your memory.”
I looked up into his eyes, a defiant set to my stare. “So what are you going to do about it?”
“I’m going to fuck the memory of him right out of you.”
I sucked in a breath. The tension between us was now wound so tight I feared it would snap and my world would never be the same. Snapping meant giving in, and if I was going to go through with this, if I was going to get Ben in bed, I needed to remember to keep my distance—to keep my heart locked up. I couldn’t afford to let it fly free until I found my prince charming. I had already done enough damage to it myself. I couldn’t risk giving Ben the opportunity to crush it.
“What happened to your promise?” I grinned and knew he knew I was loving this. Because I was. I was finally going to get my way.
“My promise went out the window the moment that guy touched you.”
“So what exactly does this mean?”
His mouth traveled up my neck to my jaw, making its way toward my lips. “It means that every time you’re with a man, you’ll think of me.” His breath was hot and heavy on my neck. “Every time you touch yourself, you’ll see my face.” His finger found the bottom of my chin and he lifted my head until our eyes met. “It means that every time you come, you’ll scream my name.”
Sweet Mary Jane. If he wasn’t already holding me up I was positive I would have collapsed into a hot, liquid mess.
“I’m going to ruin you, Grace.” I still wasn’t used to hearing my name during an intimate encounter. I hoped I never was, because it felt damn good. “That’s what I do.”
He could ruin me. He could devastate me all night long. Since at the end of the day I already knew everything he was telling me. Ben Lockwood wasn’t my happily ever after. His life was a casual mess of naked women and one-night stands, and while he may be trying to prove his worth in the office, how serious could he get working in porn? He was everything I should run from, but at the same time, everything that made me feel grounded.
It wasn’t until just now that I’d realized I hadn’t reverted to Jade when John made an appearance. I didn’t have to, because Ben was there to remind me that Jade was my past and Grace was living and breathing in the moment.
And that’s exactly who I wanted to be.
One day I’ll find a man who will handle an encounter with my past as brilliantly as Ben had just done and still want to tip my chin and offer me his understanding. Until then, I was walking into this with my eyes wide open, hoping sex with a man determined to avoid commitment could bring me back to life.
He took out his phone and typed into it. I saw the name Fridge at the top of the screen. He held out his hand. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
I had no words. I had no response to give him other than threading my fingers through his and following him anywhere he wanted to take me.