My head shot up and I stared at her in disbelief. How the hell did she know that’s how I was feeling? “Let’s just make the swag.”
“He didn’t seem to mind that you don’t have a formal education.” She continued to talk as if she knew the situation. Like she had a right to comment.
“I mind.” I threw a bottle of shampoo on the table, a little too forcefully. “I don’t even know why I agreed to this. I should just…I should just back out before—”
“So you’re going to give up? That’s not the Ben Lockwood I know.”
I scoffed. “You don’t know anything about me.”
She stuffed her little black bag with a leather passport holder and continued down the table without even looking up. “Ben Lockwood doesn’t take shit from anyone. He knows his craft and is proud. That’s what I know.”
My chest felt a little less tight with her words, and I had to admit it might have even swelled slightly. Grace and I were friendly, but I wouldn’t consider us “friends.” Yet, she got me.
“I thought I could use this as an opportunity to prove I was more than a joke, filming people having sex. I just want Hirsh to be proud of me. I want him to count on me, to know that I can be as…”
Why the hell was I spilling my guts? She didn’t care. Not really.
“You’re scared. That’s what this is about? Now that Max is gone, you feel inadequate.”
She’d hit the nail on the head. How the hell did she do that?
“I’m not mentor material.” I shook my head, doing my best to disagree. “And I’m no Max Levin.”
But Grace wasn’t having any of my pity party.
“You want to wow the panties off those students, I can help you. It’s all about knowing the rules.” She shrugged then turned to place her finished bag into one of the boxes.
“You’d really do that?”
She was offering to help me. To be there for me in my time of need.
There was only one other woman in this world who’d ever followed through with her promises. She had died a slow, torturous death from breast cancer, and ever since I’ve feared I’d never have another woman in my life I could trust.
“Why not?” She shrugged. “I should get my money’s worth for my expensive education when I can.” When I didn’t immediately acknowledge her bullshit response, she said, “Let’s just say I could use all the good karma I can get.”
I had every reason to believe that her offer to help had nothing to do with actually wanting to help me, but why would Grace Nolan need good karma?
“All right.” I’d play along. We were going to need something to talk about while we filled up these damn bags. “So what are the rules?” I picked up a travel-sized shampoo and conditioner and placed it inside my work in progress.
“There are three rules to public speaking, at least in my opinion. Be yourself. Be passionate about your topic. And first and foremost…” She scanned me up and down. “…look the part.” She snickered. “We have a lot of work to do on that front.”
“I’ll have you know, in some circles I’m considered a style icon.”
She laughed, a hearty sound that made me smile. “In what circles? High school stoner chic? No wait…” She held out her hand. “…maybe surfer stoner. That’s much better.”
I threw a gift card across the table, hitting her right on the arm just as my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, groaning when I saw the name on the screen.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, a look of concern falling over her face.
“I have more work to do when we’re done.” I stuffed my phone back in my pocket. “I have three scenes I need to vet before they go up on the site tomorrow.”
Talk about last minute. I was so behind on things that our usual work schedule was way out of whack. And I had to admit, I was extremely sick of porn. It was one thing to film and edit it because it was my vision, my work of art. But when it was someone else’s, when I wasn’t directly involved, watching porn got old real fast.
“I could totally watch porn.” Grace’s eyes lit up with excitement, and before I knew it she was out the door.
Christ.
This was not going to end well.