Which meant when the time came for me to address the student body, I’d be way out of my league.
I hated this feeling—insecurity in everything I did. I hadn’t felt like this since I was a kid. Since I’d had to compete for my mother’s attention.
“You’ll speak one day to my class and the second will be open to the entire program. You’ll give a brief overview of what you do, mostly focusing on your directing experience, and the kids will take it from there. There are always more questions than minutes so I wouldn’t worry about having to fill the time.”
This professor wanted me to be a legitimate businessman, despite the fact that my business was orgasms and cum shots.
“So can Cory start next week?” she asked.
This could be the big break I’d been hoping for. This could be the very thing I needed to prove to Hirsh that I could take this company to the next level. Then maybe he’d actually think I was worth his time and show up to my meetings.
I nodded. “Yes. I’ll be ready for him next week.”
She smiled in victory, extending her hand across her desk. “I look forward to your participation.”
I went back to the office. Back to the stack of merchandise orders I needed to approve, location sites I had to scout, and the never-ending messages from actors wanting something from me. But concentrating on work proved to be difficult, considering my brain only wanted to recount the events of the night before.
What did it mean that Grace had been masturbating to my video?
I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. For one, it was fucking hot. Knowing that she wanted me and when unable to have the real thing had gotten creative. But it also made me sad, because the fact was, online there were videos of me having sex with almost forty women. Not at the same time, mind you. But I’d filmed thirty-seven POV scenes before Hirsh had promoted me to creative director of the company.
Which was exactly why I knew I was never going to get a nice girl. Nice girls like Everly dated men like Max because he was a businessman. At the end of the day it wasn’t his face on camera. It wasn’t his dick inside way too many women.
Good thing I didn’t have a mother that was expecting me to bring home a nice girl.
I had wanted to cut my own balls off last night, the blue was so unbearable. I had no idea how I’d done it, but I’d managed to refrain from getting an erection even though the feel of her finger on my neck had had my blood pumping. The scent of her sex, still lingering in the air, had my heart hammering inside my chest. I would have given all four limbs just to throw her on the floor and fuck her until we both couldn’t speak. Couldn’t move.
But I didn’t.
Because deep down I knew that her every word and action was calculated to perfection. Grace knew exactly how to bring men to their knees.
Fuck that action.
I didn’t have time for another woman who lied.
My mother, she might have stayed behind, but she was always more interested in her next boyfriend. The day that Ellie Levin showed up at my house and found me eating chips for dinner in front of the television by myself was really the first day of my life.
The Levins had saved me, had taken me in when I’d needed a family. And I owed them everything.
Which was why I’d promised myself I’d keep it in my pants until I could figure out how to do this vice president thing. I didn’t need any distractions. And Grace was an especially potent one. And now I had to spend time with her alone, making fucking swag bags?
I threw my pen on the desk and fisted my hair, pulling it, relishing the small tinge of pain on my scalp.
“Rough day?”
I lowered my head, still holding on to my hair, and found Hirsh in the doorway. “Just…thinking about some things.”
He walked into my office without pause. Not that he needed an invitation. This was his company. He stood in front of the metal chair opposite me, releasing the button on his suit jacket before sitting.
His salt and pepper hair had more salt than pepper now that Max was gone. His eyes were sunken, black circles lined the lower lids and he had a yellowish color to his skin.
I knew I wasn’t measuring up. I knew I could never fill Max’s shoes. But I never expected Hirsh to actually age because of my mediocrity.
“How are things going?” he asked, tapping his hand on the arm of the chair.
“Great,” I lied. “Just going over the merchandise orders. Lacey’s mold gets launched in a couple of weeks so I’m just double-checking that we have enough units going out to all of the stores.”
Max had had a little trouble trying to get Lacey’s mold off the ground. A little trouble as in it had to be remolded because she’d been adamant that it was someone else’s vagina.