This was exactly what he’d feared. One sweep of that secret stranger’s hand, and Roach would be on his knees behind Tony’s, drinking someone else’s cum.
Zane tapped his fingers against the counter as the silence extended. Why wouldn’t Roach tell him he was being paranoid? Laugh it off?
“He’s dead, so what does it matter?” Roach finally said, but wouldn’t look at Zane.
There it was. Roach was hung up on his first love. Zane was a distraction, if a welcome one. “It matters, because you’re clearly not over him.”
Roach glared at Zane with a scowl. “Yeah. There we go. I will never be over him, so stop fucking prodding. You don’t wanna go there.”
Zane stared at him, struck by the intense stab deep in his chest.
Roach would never be over that guy, and calling their sex “lovemaking” had only been a figure of speech to make Zane relax. He’d been so fucking stupid to let his walls down. “Who was he? One of your biker friends?” he asked, stiffening by the second.
“Why? You wanna put it in your spank bank for a biker-on-biker fantasy?” It was as if Roach was growing spikes by the second.
The alcohol was rising up Zane’s gullet. “Yeah, I hear bikers don’t discriminate. A hole’s a hole.”
Roach breathed faster, and Zane could feel the heat of his skin under his own. He’d been with this man for almost three months. How had he missed this nerve he’d just hit?
“I used to fuck women, so I guess that’s true.” Roach’s voice had a mean edge to it. As if he was looking for ways to cause most damage.
Two could play that game.
“But he didn’t fuck you like you wanted him to. Or was me being your first just a lie?”
Roach gave him a level glare. “You’ll never know.”
The air around them trembled with electricity. Zane was ready for whatever was coming his way. “You want revenge, don’t you? What did you plan doing to me once it wouldn’t backfire on you anymore?” Zane asked with a dull pain in his chest. Roach hadn’t exactly confirmed his suggestion, but it made sense. He wanted to get under Zane’s skin to then strike with most force.
The gulp Roach took from the bottle must have burned his throat because even Zane felt his own tingle. “Wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, would it?” He spread his arms and took a step back.
Zane swallowed hard. He couldn’t believe that after all he’d been through he was still so naive and let Roach play him like this. ”Fuck you, Roach. We will see who can survive this.”
Though he already knew he couldn’t bring himself to kill Roach. He’d run like a rat from a sinking ship, but he’d leave Roach alive, to always remember him.
“I’m a cockroach. I’ll survive. And fuck you too!” Roach turned around and walked off, bottle in hand, leaving Zane with the bar keys.
Zane wanted to throw something after him, but he was already sitting in the chair, and tossing the broom like a javelin would have been the peak of pathetic, so he hung his head, trembling when Roach shut the door behind him so hard and fast the glasses collected on a nearby table clattered.
Zane was cold, his skin freezing when he thought of all the times he’d let Roach touch him, all the times he’d teased him, complimented him, allowed himself to imagine a future. But deep inside was a fire that drove him back to his feet. There was still much to do, and he wouldn’t walk out on the cash he’d already worked for.
So maybe the cleanup would take longer without Roach, but he wouldn’t have to split the money, because it would all go toward Gale, who was innocent in all this. Zane would pull through and collect his pay, even if he’d have to toil until morning. Every bit of dirt on the floor had Roach’s face now.
That cold-hearted fucker. He’d played Zane. And Zane had been stupid enough to fall for all his lies.
Yet he couldn’t stop wondering. Which one of his biker buddies had it been? Which one? Which one had Roach gagging for dick so much he wouldn’t forget him two years on? The question burned under Zane’s skin, and he wanted to claw at himself to get it out.
Which one had it been?
Just staying connected with Roach made him feel dirty now, as if the stench of the past had only caught up with him.
It made no sense. Had Roach lied when he said he hated all his club brothers just to get Zane on board? How could a person be this cynical? But if Roach was lying now, about the lover—why the fuck would he be doing that?
Zane tossed the broom to the floor with a cry coming from deep in his chest and squeezed his eyes shut, pacing as unnamed emotions buzzed right under the surface, looking for an outlet.