“But he’ll be fine, right?” Jake came closer, staring at Knight with his baby blues, so unlike the deep, warm darkness in Elliot’s eyes.
Knight swallowed hard. There was no immediate danger to Elliot’s body, but it was impossible to predict the damage of what Fane had done. And just thinking that Elliot would have never sought out Fane’s affection if Knight hadn’t rejected him was a thorn Knight couldn’t remove from his gut. “I guess.”
Jake put his hands in his pockets. “So… yeah, if you needed some rest, I can hang out here for a while. I’d let you know if something changed.”
Knight patted his own cheeks, only feeling somewhat tired when Jake mentioned it. “What time is it?”
“It’s just past midnight. You’ve been here for six hours.”
Knight shook his head. “I’ll be fine. I need to be ready once they let me see him. Thanks for coming,” he added in the end and squeezed Jake’s arm.
Jake groaned and leaned against the wall. “No, I’ll stay in case Beast calls you, and you need to go. Unless… you’re telling me to go.”
Knight frowned, surprised by this idea. “What—where did that even come from? Just told you I’m glad you’re here. Jeez, should I kiss you as a thank you, or something?”
Jake rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying I’ll do whatever you need me to do.”
Knight looked into Jake’s eyes for a long time, recognizing the same tension in his shoulders that he’d expressed during the training hours before. He wasn’t sure how to approach Jake about this, but in the end, Knight sat down in a plastic chair and invited Jake to join him.
“Everything’s fine?”
Jake took a deep breath and sat next to Knight. “I guess.”
“What does that even mean? Just spill it. Entertain me, Prospect,” grumbled Knight.
Jake’s frown deepened, and he glared at Knight. “Why don’t you let me suck you off anymore?”
Knight sat back, rolling that sentence in his head. “What? Since when is it my duty to let you suck my dick?”
“I guess it’s not,” Jake hissed, increasingly walled-off instead of letting Knight in on his problem.
Knight swallowed, certain that he wouldn’t get far with those kinds of questions. He needed to be brutally honest, even if it was uncomfortable. “Jake, are you in love with me, or something?”
Jake’s eyes went wide, and his face flushed. “I—no! It’s not like that at all! I just—I’m a prospect, I do whatever you need, and you don’t seem to need me anymore. But yeah, I’m fucking frustrated, because you don’t want to get head anymore, Beast is off-limits, Fox and Joker barely ever want me, Rev is practically straight, and I don’t think I can give Gray what he wants.”
Knight rubbed his chin, weirded out by Jake’s idea about his role in the club. “Jake. We fuck you and have you polish our boots, because you seem to enjoy that. It’s not in the job description. Hell, I never sucked anyone’s dick, and I wouldn’t have done it to get my patch. The point is for you to eventually become our equal. To get it on with hangarounds, maybe use a new prospect, if he’s willing. And even now, no one’s ever said you can’t just fuck around with someone from Grindr.”
“I kinda get it, but… I feel safe around you guys. Like I know my place. But it’s all gone to shit. We’re supposed to be a brotherhood. King’s been dead for months now, and it’s as if none of you care much that he’s gone. I…” Jake hugged himself and looked at the floor. “He was my first guy ever, and I miss him. He was a good prez, had his moods, but he was good to me. I was the one cleaning his blood off the fucking statue. Beast barely showed up to the funeral and had someone else make a speech. Is this how things are in the club? Everyone just looking to get a bigger piece of the cake?”
Well, shit.
Knight cleared his throat and put his hand on Jake’s nape, massaging it gently. To avoid talking of the greater issue, he turned to the most obvious topic. “Didn’t know he popped your cherry. Didn’t even brag. That’s nice of him, I guess.”
Jake leaned in to the touch. “He always seemed to have everything under control. People loved him. Mostly. I joined the club thinking he’d always be there. And then you… I mean, you know you’re hot. Of course I like giving you head.”
Knight smirked. “Of course you do. But don’t worry, there will be more fish in the sea. I’m sorry no one talked to you about King, but there is a reason no one mourns him much. You will know once you get your patch, Jake. I know as much as anyone that he could be kind and generous. He took me in as a kid. He did more for me than my own father, but that doesn’t change the other things he was under the surface. Do you understand?” Knight asked, as gently as he could, thinking of the bastard who wanted to kill his own son because of vanity.