“If we moved, I feared we wouldn’t live together anymore,” he said, looking to the bloodstained tiles under his feet. The words communicated the sorrow he felt every day at being banished from Beast’s apartment. He didn’t even realize how deep it was until now. There were plenty of other men around the clubhouse, many more conventionally attractive, but neither of them was Beast. Neither of them had the oddly rough voice or muscles strong enough to hide the softness of the heart beating in Beast’s chest. He would have gone with Bob, because he wanted to finally feel how it was to be with a man, yet in the past week he’d been regretful about rejecting Beast in the first place every day. Bob could have never been a replacement for the man Laurent really desired. The man Laurent would allow to be hurt by King for several more months in order to save his own skin.
He was scum, not worthy of Beast, and yet selfish enough to long for it all the same.
Beast was very quiet. “If you like me, why didn’t you say anything?” he asked in the end.
Laurent rubbed his eyes, only seconds later realizing the black paint had now gotten all over his hands. “You said you despise me.”
“You didn’t want to kiss me and told me you wanted to just be friends.”
Laurent looked up at him and dared a step forward to the big man whose fist dripped with another’s blood. “You have power, property, and position. How can we be on equal footing? I had known you for less than a day back then, and I hadn’t even outright rejected you. I hesitated and you got furious. It made me wonder what you would do were I to allow a kiss yet refuse other… things.”
Beast swallowed and then rapidly pointed at the drops of blood on the floor. His face was so tense it looked as if it might tear at the seams any minute. “You didn’t know him either.”
“I don’t live with him. My well-being doesn’t depend on him. He has no authority over me. And he’s… not as big and strong as you are.”
Beast’s shoulders dropped even lower, and his face twitched. “I’m sorry I scared you.”
Laurent was about to speak when the couple from before burst out of the room, laughing loudly as the woman adjusted her bra.
“That was... quick,” said Beast, watching them until they disappeared from sight again, but at the same time he very slowly reached out his hand to Laurent. The inside of his palm was burnt too, the twisted skin not covered by tattoos and naked in a tangle of pink and white. Laurent wanted to kiss it until the skin became soft from the constant touch.
Laurent swallowed and spoke only when the couple closed the doors behind them. “But what will it mean if I do hold your hand?” His heart was already screaming yes to his fingers entwining with Beast’s.
Beast took a deep breath that made his massive chest expand under the black shirt. “That maybe you’d like... to try out some of the things you want to do with a man... with me.”
Laurent’s throat was tight, and he slid his hand into Beast’s before he actually thought it through. He wanted to be in Beast’s good graces so badly it hurt every bit of his being. He hadn’t even realized just how much he craved Beast’s touch.
Something changed in Beast’s eyes. The bright blue irises have gone softer as they met Laurent’s gaze. Beast pulled him closer, leading him down the corridor and away from the noise, away from the rooms where people escaped to do lewd things with strangers. Beast’s fingers were warm and inviting, as gentle as they had been back at the mall.
They walked into a long corridor illuminated by a single yellow bulb.
Beast led the way into one of the rooms and closed the door with a soft thud. The sound sent the tiniest of ants crawling down Laurent’s spine, and an unsettling sensation curled up in the pit of his stomach. Not knowing the contemporary rules of courting could have yet again put him in the most disastrous of positions. What if Beast demanded things Laurent wasn’t ready for? He had been willing to take the risk with Fane, and that ended with blood on Laurent’s hands.
He was so nervous, so focused on the man before him he didn’t even bother to look for a light switch or check whether there was a bed nearby. All he knew was that Beast was big, and warm, and smelled like no other man alive—both in the past and present.
“What if I change my mind? What if I decide to back out?” Laurent asked quickly, not letting go of Beast’s hand. “What if I want to experiment with things you do not wish to do with me?”