Beast sank down to the sofa and rubbed his face in his hands. It took a handful more knocks for him to ask his friend to let himself in. Knight and King were the only people who knew the code unlocking Beast’s apartment. No. There was also fucking Laurent now, so Beast needed to change the code. The atmosphere had been so lovely it hadn’t occurred to Beast that things could go sour, and he couldn’t have Laurent knowing how to leave so easily.
Knight came in with a wide grin on the handsome face that attracted both sexes in equal measure. Beast wondered bitterly if Laurent’s morals and convictions would have been as stern if it was Knight who’d tried to get into his pants. He’d probably come up with some stupid excuse after the deed was done, along the lines of, ‘Oh, I didn’t know sucking cock meant attraction!’.
“Why the long face?” Knight asked, waving some magazines in his hand. He looked around conspicuously and lowered his voice. “Is he around? I’ve got these gay porn mags. Thought we could leave them lying around to figure out if he’s as gay as the words he uses.”
Beast shot to his feet, grabbed Knight’s shoulder, and led him through the single door leading from his living room to the office where he gathered all the things he needed to keep hidden. With a brief turn of the key Beast always had with him, all secrets were out to be seen.
“He’s gay,” Beast said as soon as they closed door behind them. There was no decoration here, unless one counted photographs and prints of historical pictures hung all around the walls as decor. “We don’t need to check anything. And I don’t want him reading porn in my house.”
Knight’s brows shot up. “O-kay. Since when are you against porn? And how do you know he’s gay?” Beast didn’t like the glint in Knight’s eyes at the last question. Couldn’t Beast have one fucking thing to himself? He knew it was shitty to not let Knight make a move if he himself had been rejected, but… seriously? Wasn’t there enough flesh on Knight’s platter?
Beast bit on his cheeks from the inside, breathing hard and clenching his hand on the edge of the desktop. He didn’t want to share his failures, but at the same time, the need to tell his friend that something even vaguely sexual happened in his life for once was so strong he fought through his shame.
“He saw men kissing on TV, and he was happy about it being okay. And...”
“That’s the proof? I think my plan is better.”
Beast groaned. “No. I don’t want him getting all fucking excited and coming in here with another guy.” Just the thought of it was so humiliating Beast wanted to bash his head against the bare wall behind him.
Knight squinted at Beast, and Beast could see the cogs moving under the messy hair. “...Because you wanna fuck him first.”
“Well, it’s not gonna happen, is it?”
Knight grinned and leaned against the large corkboard, only to pull away with a hiss when a pin dug into his back. “Why the hell not? He’s living here. You’ve got all the opportunities to butter him up.”
Beast snapped, tossing a book off the desk. “I know this because I know he’s not interested. He held my fucking hand all day, but the moment I kissed him, he started making up all that stuff about not knowing what it meant. I didn’t even use my fucking tongue, and he was fucking revolted!”
Knight rubbed his chin. “Oh, man… What a douche. But at least you got to holding hands. Preschool base?” He laughed and poked Beast’s arm, but Beast wasn’t in the mood for jokes at his expense. Knight cleared his throat. “Maybe you just need to play the long game, you know? Or show him you’ve got options, get him jealous.”
Beast tightened his jaw so hard it made his teeth hurt. “Well, I don’t. I have no options. Look at me. What was I thinking trying to get close to a guy like that? There’s no one interested. Not in me. They’d do me for kicks or for the patches. Would you fuck me?”
Knight groaned and shifted his weight. “That’s not a fair question. You know you’re not my type. You never were. And for the record, I know I’m not yours. It’s, like… ew. We’re practically brothers.”
Beast rubbed his face. If it wasn’t about Knight in particular, Beast was at the point where he had close to no type as long as someone was truly interested in him. The problem was that it wasn’t coming his way. He was forever doomed to be someone’s thrill, not a person to be seriously interested in. “Yeah. Right.”
Knight took a deep breath, eyeing Beast with a concerned look that was making Beast want to kick him out after all. “Sure, we all know that if someone’s won the genetic lottery, it’s easier for them to get laid, but you’re fit, you’re tall, you’re strong, and you’ve got a big dick. A guy doesn’t need a baby face to get some action. Forget the Amish boy and his whining.”