“What kinds of things?” I blurted, putting the tip of my fingernail between my teeth.
“If you sit, I’ll explain.”
I gingerly sat down. He was freaking me out.
“Remember the night we met?” he asked.
“Of course. How could I forget?”
He started to pace, which didn’t help my anxiety. “I knew who you were.”
“What?”
“I didn’t know you’d be there, but I was on a mission, Chloe. A mission to find a woman who I could get pregnant.”
Fury replaced anxiety as a thundering began in my head, but he held up a hand to stop me from speaking.
“I’m in line to inherit a great deal of money, but it will only come to me if I have an heir by a certain age and before my cousin does. My time is quickly running out. When I saw you, Ian had already researched you.”
“What? Why?”
“He thought you’d make the perfect vessel for my seed.” When I glared at him, he amended his statement, “Perfect woman to bear my child, if you will. I know it sounds awful, but it’s the truth. I hadn’t been sure about his plan, but all that backfired when I saw you. More importantly, I never expected to fall for you. When you walked out of my life, I was devastated.”
The chair I sat in flew back as I stood. Steam was surely puffing out of my nose. “You fell for me? After you decided to use my uterus as a vessel for your seed? Is this the Middle Ages? Whatever gave you the right to do this without asking permission? Did you for one second think about the child who would come out of this pregnancy? How could you possibly be so selfish?”
“Chloe, I realize now how horrible—”
“Horrible doesn’t come close to what I’m feeling.”
“Please give me a chance. When we met, I never thought I’d get to this place with you.”
“Get out. Get out now. You can’t buy me or this baby.”
“I want our baby. I want us.”
“You have an awful way of showing it.”
He dropped down in front of me and took my hands in his. “To you it appears that way. I admit, this was far from what you deserved. But for the first time in my life, I’ve tried harder than ever before. I don’t do well at love or relationships. The last time I loved someone this much, she died, and it scared me to the point I told myself I’d never love anyone else again.”
“Who?”
“My mom. It may sound a bit lame, but—”
I wasn’t heartless. The pain was etched in the lines on his face. “It’s not lame at all. I’m sorry she died.”
“So am I. She was everything, a great mother and woman despite my bastard of a father. For all I thought I was nothing like him, I see now how wrong I was. It wasn’t fair what I did. The fucked-up thing about it is, I would do it again because I found you. I’m not a good person, Chloe. You should know that. But what I feel for you is real.” He got on one knee. “Could you marry me?”
I narrowed my gaze. “This isn’t part of that money deal, is it?”
“Not at all. That only had to do with the child thing. Marriage isn’t any part of it. It’s me, Ryan, who wants to marry you, Chloe. Please say yes.”
“You know what? I think I’ve heard enough for one day. I want you to leave. I need some time alone.”
“I’ll leave but wanted you to know how much I want you in my life as my wife and partner.”
As he made his way to the door, I thought back to how lonely and miserable I’d been without him and then back to how great things were when we were together. Did I really want to go through life without him by my side? An image of us naked and of me sitting on his face popped into my mind and my breathing quickened. I ran after him and reached out.
He caught my hand and brought it to his lips. With a simple kiss, I was lost in his eyes. Yes, our sexual chemistry was off the charts, but our connection was visceral. The idea of him being gone completely from my life sent me into a panic.
“What do you need? Tell me.”
“Er, I prefer not to say,” I murmured.
“Say yes and be my wife, and I’ll do some things to you that will make your breath come even faster.”
“Promise?”
“On my life.”
“What if I have conditions?” My mind raced. Was I really doing this?
“What conditions?”
I held up my finger. “Let’s be clear. You’re not the boss of me. If we’re to be in a relationship, much less a marriage, we’re partners, equals. That means if I want to work, I work. If I decide I don’t want to work, then fine. But you can’t railroad me into doing what you want. Understood?”