Once he’d spread her legs and moved over her, he held himself completely still. “You okay, sweetheart?”
“Yes.” She wriggled her hips. She wanted...no, needed him to move. “Please.”
He rested his cheek against hers and thrust. There was no pain at all, only pleasure. She heard herself make sounds that should embarrass her but somehow didn’t. He rocked into her, out, and she couldn’t have stopped herself from pushing up to meet him if someone had put a gun to her head. This desperation to feel him deeper, harder, faster, grew until it felt like... She didn’t know. A spring winding tighter and tighter in her belly. It couldn’t take any more tension. It couldn’t. It couldn’t...
And then it sprang loose, flooding her with unimagined pleasure. She could only hold on to Colin and stare in astonishment at his face, stark with his own release, as he pulsed inside her and his body jerked.
He tried to half roll off her as his weight came down, but she wouldn’t let him. Nell wrapped her arms around him, and she squeezed her eyes shut and rested her cheek against his as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. Tears stung her eyes.
So this was what real happiness felt like.
* * *
REGRET, OR AT least worry, brought him down fast once he’d gotten dressed and left Nell sleeping.
Making love with Nell—Maddie—might have been a huge mistake. No, it was the timing that stank. Colin didn’t know how he felt, she couldn’t possibly know how she felt. She’d been scared and needed reassurance. He groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. Yeah, he’d been scared and needed reassurance, too.
But he didn’t want to feel too much for her if she intended to return to Seattle as soon as her leave of absence was up. Why would she want to stay in Angel Butte? Was he willing to quit, start over somewhere else, when he was so damn close to getting Bystrom out of office and maybe having the chance to develop a truly effective police force?
Even thinking things like that was so uncharacteristic of him, it set him on edge. And yet—he was in love with her. He knew he was. There was a reason he hadn’t been able to help kissing her several times before. What he feared was that his fascination for Maddie had morphed into the emotion that was giving him heartburn now. He couldn’t deny the power her face, her eyes, had always held for him. If that were the case, what did it say about him? What if Nell had come to town and he’d recently met her? What if she wasn’t Maddie? Would he feel the same?
He swore under his breath.
What if, in his confusion, he hurt her, a woman who had been hurt too many times?
He knew he’d never forgive himself.
Colin sat at the table, his laptop open in front of him although he hadn’t gotten any further than turning it on yet. Twice he’d stood up and walked silently to the bedroom to make sure Nell was still there. Still sleeping, not tossing in the grip of a nightmare. He’d meant it when he said he didn’t want to leave her this afternoon. Couldn’t leave her.
But he also itched to know what was going on with the various investigations. Had accountants turned up any answers about where all that money deposited into Bystrom’s account had come from? What about Beck? Jane would have been—
His phone rang and he reached for it quickly. Who else? “Jane,” he said.
“The uncle isn’t a very nice guy,” she announced without preamble. “The first time I called he said, I quote, ‘Why would I have kept anything of his? I was done with him.’ He did grudgingly give me the name of the family dentist.”
“And?”
“We have confirmation, Captain. No question.”
“Oh, hell,” he said, bowing his head. So much for any hope those bones had nothing to do with Maddie Dubeau.
“Opens a can of worms,” she agreed. “Means he can’t be the one who attacked her and abducted her.”
“No. It’s more likely he was protecting her.”
“That seems to be the likeliest scenario.”
Had to be, he thought, even knowing there were other possibilities. Maybe she’d shown up to meet him and he was already dead or she saw him killed. But why would anybody have wanted him dead? Because he was dealing...? Colin shook his head without finishing the thought. The Hales thought Beck was a great kid. Colin had seen the kind of student he was. Maddie had been shy and innocent, not the kind of girl to be attracted to a bad boy.
And then there was her memory block to account for. The headaches confirmed Colin’s belief that they weren’t talking memory loss from the physical injury, even if it had contributed. She was afraid to remember, even now.
He heard her say, I think it did happen. The look on her face, when she just...went away, that had scared him.