I wasn’t bound. I wasn’t told to focus on one sense. I wasn’t told not to talk.
Even so, I didn’t speak, except to tell him I was coming and that I loved him. I didn’t move, so I may as well have been bound. And though I wasn’t told to focus, I focused anyway, on each movement. On his scent.
On everything about this precious moment in time.
We’ve come to a new understanding, Braden and I.
And I’m all in.
“Skye,” he says into my hair.
“Hmm?”
“Have you checked on Tessa?”
“Yeah. She’s being released today. Her mom is moving in with her for a while to take care of her.”
“Are you okay with that?”
“Sure. Carlotta’s great.”
“I mean”—he pushes a stray strand of hair out of my eyes—“do you need to be here for her?”
“No. I’ll only get in Carlotta’s way. Tess and I talked. She wants some time with her mom.”
“All right, then.”
I close my eyes, feeling dreamy. “All right what?”
“We’re going back to New York. Tonight.”
Chapter Forty-Four
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The selfie is me puckering like a fish, and believe it or not, I don’t look butt ugly. It’s a fun pose for a fun post. Already the likes are heating up.
I don’t have to look perfect in each shot. I’m not Addison Ames. I’m Skye. Imperfect Skye. And I’m beginning to see the merit in that—what Eugenie and the rest of the Susanne staff see.
It’s okay to not be perfect, because you know what? Not one of us is.
Addie may think she is. Some of her followers may even believe it.
I know she’s not.
And I wish I hadn’t started thinking about Addie, because now I have more questions for Braden.
No.
No.
No.
I’ll let him come to me in his own time.
We’re heading to New York in a few hours. I’ve already contacted Eugenie and we’re set to meet tomorrow with dinner in the evening.
And then…Black Rose Underground?
I don’t know.
Braden seems distant. Not distant toward me. He’s been very affectionate. But he hasn’t mentioned the club. We’ve done the anal sex taboo, and I’m yearning for more. Candle play intrigues me. I still like the idea of neck binding, but it’s a hard limit for Braden, and I understand. Just as I know he understands my hard limits. Blood sports, for example, which I didn’t even know existed until he told me about them.
Not a hard limit for him. He made it emphatically clear he only has one hard limit. Has he done blood sports? Do I even want to know?
Plus, he was just in New York, and this new trip came up quite suddenly. Something’s brewing in his head. I wish he’d confide in me, but I know better than to ask. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.
I can’t push him. I won’t. I’m learning to gauge his moods and his needs. At the same time, I’m learning how to control my own needs. Yes, I want to know all these things. I’m curious. But I can exist without knowing.
It’s freeing, really, to let someone else take charge.
Tessa always tried to tell me. Let your hair down, Skye.
She was right.
Though her “let your hair down” attitude may have gotten her into some trouble. Thank goodness she’s going to be all right. In fact…I want to see her. Sure, she said she’s fine, but I don’t feel right leaving Boston without seeing it for myself.
I finish packing my small suitcase for New York. Braden is still in his office. I knock softly and then enter. “Hey.”
“I’m almost finished,” he says.
“Great. I’m going to go see Tessa. She should be home by now. Her mom’s going to stay at her place for a while, but I want to see her before we leave.”
He nods. “Be back in two hours. That’ll give us enough time to get to the airport.”
“I will.” I grab my phone. “Just going to catch an Uber.”
“No need. A car’s waiting downstairs for you.”
“Is Christopher back?”
“No. I ordered a car today in case we needed one, and it turns out we do. I’d go with you, but I need to finish up this document.”
“It’s okay. I understand. I don’t want to overwhelm her.”
“You think I’d overwhelm her?”
“Braden”—I try not to laugh—“you overwhelm everyone.”
The left side of his mouth twitches slightly. He’s trying not to smile. I can’t help myself. I laugh. I laugh like I’ve never laughed before. “You try so hard to be stoic all the time. Why? Let yourself go, Braden!”
“You sound like Tessa,” he says.
“Yes, I do. And she has a point. Let it out! Let yourself laugh! For God’s sake, I’m right and you know it. You do overwhelm everyone. It’s who you are. Love yourself for who you are. Let it out!”