Chapter Fourteen
My mouth drops open. “Never?”
“How can that possibly surprise you?”
“I…” Words don’t come. Should it surprise me? I already know that he and Addie got kinky, but I know nothing about any of his other conquests. He owns a BDSM club. Why is his revelation so surprising?
Because everyone begins at the vanilla level.
Right?
Everyone, apparently, except Braden Black.
“You’ve really never just made love? Without all the…”
“The word you’re looking for is kink, Skye. Without all the kink.”
I clear my throat. “Yeah. The kink. The dominance.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because”—he clears his throat—“I’ve never had the desire to. Not until now.”
My flesh warms, and a tingle flashes through me. He wants to make love. Just make love. And he wants to do it with me.
“All right, Braden. I’ll go up with you.”
A few moments later we’re in his hotel room. The bed is queen-sized, not what we’re used to when we’re together, and the décor is Early American, not the sleek sophistication that graces Braden’s bedrooms.
Still, it seems perfect.
He stands and stares at me.
“Well…?” I say.
He smiles. Yes, a smile. Kind of a shy smile. Very un-Braden-like. “I’m not sure where to start.”
“You’ve never had that problem before,” I say.
“You’re right, because I’ve always known where I’m going. Even when you challenged me at every corner, I knew where I was going and I ultimately got there. The fact that you made me work for it was part of the game.”
“We were a game?”
“I don’t mean it in a bad way, Skye, but you know as well as I do that we were playing a game of cat and mouse.”
I sigh. He’s right. I’m as guilty as he is of manipulation.
“Somewhere along the line I fell in love,” he says. “And not because you succumbed to me eventually.”
“Then why?”
He chuckles. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve asked myself that question? And the only answer I’ve come up with is that love isn’t always rational.”
“So loving me is irrational? That’s not really a compliment, Braden.”
“That’s not what I mean. You’re smart, and you’re beautiful. You’re talented. And God, you’re a challenge. I once told you that you’re my Everest. You are. Even after you gave up all your control to me, you’re still a challenge. I just didn’t expect…”
“What?”
“To fall in love.” He pauses a moment. “Usually, after I conquer something, I go on to the next thing.”
“And you feel you’ve conquered me?”
“No. That’s not what I’m saying.”
“What exactly are you saying, then?”
“Whether I conquer you is no longer the issue. The issue is that I’m in love with you, and I have no desire to go on to the next thing.”
Again I feel warm and tingly.
“Never in my life have I had a desire for vanilla sex. But damn it, Skye, I want to make love to you. I want to touch you and I want you to touch me. I don’t want to take away any of your senses. I don’t want to deprive you of an orgasm or punish you. I don’t want to tie you up this time. I just want to lie next to you, as your equal, and make love to you.”
Again, he pauses. I open my mouth, but he gestures me not to talk yet.
“And Skye?”
“Yes?”
“I’m fucking…”
“What, Braden? What?”
“I’m scared, Skye. Fucking scared, and I’ve never been scared of anything in my adult life.”
His eyes are tormented, and I melt into his arms. Braden Black just admitted vulnerability. To me. To Skye Manning.
Something he’s probably never admitted to another human being, including himself.
“It’s okay,” I say against his chest.
“It’s not,” he says. “I don’t like this feeling.”
I pull back.
“I don’t mean the love I feel for you. I just mean… I’m not sure I can put it into words.”
I nod. “I think I can. Vulnerability means you’re not in control. I went through this same thing a few weeks ago when we began. It’s difficult, but it’s not insurmountable.”
“I feel like I’m not myself.”
I can’t help a soft laugh. “Boy, do I know where you’re coming from.”
He kisses the top of my head. “I don’t want to talk anymore. I want to take you to bed and make love to you.”
I smile. “Okay.”
He leads me to the bed. He doesn’t command me to undress or to undress him. We undress each other. Slowly. Methodically. Relishing each new inch of flesh we expose on the other, until we both stand naked. Naked and vulnerable.
Braden takes my hand and places it on his shoulder. “Touch me, Skye. Please.”
So many times I’ve been bound and unable to touch him. How I’ve ached for a moment like this. I’m trembling—actually trembling.
I trail my fingers over the golden warmth of his muscled shoulder and down his upper arm all the way to his perfect hand, where I entwine my fingers with his.