New York. Black Rose Underground. Does Ben know about Braden’s club?
Boston is Braden’s home. He made that clear many times. So clear, that he keeps part of himself only in New York.
And now he’s thinking about going there indefinitely.
Which means the club.
Which means scenes.
And if I’m not there to do scenes with him, someone else will be. Women will be lining up to make Braden Black’s fetishes come true.
Women who won’t ask him to do something that’s unthinkable for him.
Women who…
Women who aren’t me.
Chapter Eight
“You still there, Skye?” Ben says.
I swallow down the vomit that threatens to crawl up from my stomach. “Yeah. I’m here.”
“You’ve got to talk to him.”
I clear my throat. “Why? If he’s gone to New York, you won’t have to put up with his asshole behavior.”
“Ha! Of course I will, and so will everyone else. A virtual asshole is still an asshole.”
He has me there. “I wish I could help you, but—”
“Then call him. Tell him you’re sorry.”
“I’m not sorry, Ben. I’m not the one who ended things.”
“So you’d be with him if he hadn’t ended it, right?”
“Well…yeah.”
“Tell him that.”
I shake my head, well aware that only the cabbie can see me from his rearview mirror, if he’s even looking. “No way. I still have my self-respect. I’m not going to go crawling back to a guy who dumped me.”
“This has nothing to do with self-respect, Skye. The man is miserable.”
“That’s his own fault, then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Of course it is. But Braden isn’t used to things not going his way. He finds solutions, and whatever went on between the two of you has got him confused.”
I let out an exasperated huff. “Confused? He knows exactly why he ended it.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“Oh? What do you mean, then?”
“Braden finds solutions. That’s how he made it so big. His original idea was a solution to a problem in construction. And every success he’s had since then, from innovations to investments, has been the result of finding a solution. This has him flummoxed, Skye.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Sorry, Ben, but I’m not following. Relationships are not problems to be solved. They’re relationships.”
“That’s not how Braden sees it.”
“I can’t help that. That’s how it is.”
“Maybe,” he says.
“You’re probably just like him, aren’t you? You don’t want a relationship, either.”
“What? Where did that come from?”
“Just a hunch.”
He sighs. “I’m not looking, it’s true. But I’m not averse to a relationship if I find the right person.”
“Braden told me, at the beginning, that he and I couldn’t have a relationship. Apparently he was right.”
“Not surprising. Neither one of us is wired for long-term love.”
“Why do you say that?”
Silence.
Seriously, silence so thick over a cell phone line that I swear I can hear its density.
“You still there?” I ask.
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to answer the question you know I’m about to ask?”
More silence. Then, “I can’t.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“There are things Braden and I don’t talk about. Not to anyone.”
My breath hitches. “And one of those things is why you’re not wired for relationships?”
No response.
“I’ll take your silence as a yes,” I say.
“It’s not what you think,” he says.
“I’m not thinking anything.”
“Sure you are. You’re thinking it has something to do with Braden and Addison.”
“Why would I think that? Is she a reason why you’re not wired for relationships?”
More dead air.
“This is getting tedious, Ben,” I finally say.
“I can’t speak for Braden,” he says, “but Addie certainly has no bearing on my situation.”
“I see.”
Yet more silence. Then, “I think you can make Braden happy, Skye.”
Despite myself, my heart leaps a little. “Obviously not.”
“You can. He was different with you. Different than with any other woman he’s ever brought home.”
“What if he can’t make me happy?”
“I just…”
“You just assumed anyone would be thrilled to be with your brother. Or with you. I get it.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” His tone is huffy and resolute.
“That’s exactly what you meant. It just so happens that my happiness is important here, too.”
“I never said it wasn’t. But, Skye, you just told me if he hadn’t broken up with you—”
“Cool it with your euphemisms, Ben. He dumped me. Call it what it is.”
“Fine. If he hadn’t dumped you, you’d still be with him. So clearly he made you happy.”
Ben isn’t wrong. Braden made me ecstatic. He showed me a world I never knew existed—a world of pleasure and love and loss of control. A world I could only face in the dark.
Maybe I took it too far. Maybe this is all my fault. Maybe I need to face it all in the daylight to understand.
But how can I be at fault simply for asking for what I want?
“What do you want me to do?” I finally ask.
“Reach out to him.”
“What makes you think he’ll even talk to me?”
“I don’t know if he will.” Ben sighs. “But he’s hurting, and you’re the only one who can help him.”