But I’d be damned if I let him take Celia’s too.
I wondered if he came here only to seek payback, or if he’d been tipped off and knew Celia was here with me. Either way, seeing the man who betrayed him copulating with his daughter was unenviable, to say the least. I deserved the nose, but if I were being honest, I wanted his violence in return for being with Celia because I would never let her go. She was mine.
"Daddy, get off him. Get the fuck off him!" Celia screamed. I saw her lunge at Kevin, desperate to pull him off. "Dad, stop. I love him!”
I almost blacked out. Hearing her say those words absolved me. I felt clean from every sin, every misstep. Redemption in the form of Celia on my lips. Redemption in my bed. She loved me. She loved me. Celia was my Higgs field. The God particle. My everything.
“Damn it, Emery, why aren't you fighting back?" she pleaded
"He ruined my life. He isn't ruining yours, too!" Kevin grunted.
"Fine, get off him! I’ll never see him again, I promise. Just stop. Don’t hurt him. He saved me!"
“CeCe, get your things, I’m taking you home.” Keven stood shaking out his fists. They were covered in blood. My blood. My penance for having been a shitty person in my childhood. My vision tunneled.
"I can't believe this, I fucking can't believe this shit," Kevin shouted. He turned to Celia, "We sent you to school, busted our asses for what? So you could end up ruining your life with this man?"
"I'm not ruining anything, Daddy. I don't even know what the fuck is going on," Celia shouted.
“This man is what Joplin warns about in the scripture, CeCe. This man will extinguish everything that is good in you!”
“Daddy, Emery saved me. Not Joplin. Never Joplin. I’ll never go back there. That’s your place and that’s your choice, but I’ll never be happy there.”
Celia was sobbing. I shouldn’t have abandoned her, I should have stood my ground. But the guilt got the better of me and I let Kevin reset his rage button on me because, deep down, I felt like I deserved it.
The count hadn’t been called. I gathered my wits and rolled, pushed up on my arms and jumped to my feet.
"The fuck you will," I growled before sucker punching him in the head. “Celia stays with me!”
I was not a kid anymore. A desperate, lonely, approval-seeking push-over. I’d accomplished a lot, but there was a reason I still boxed. It gave a sense of worth that I couldn’t find in academia or publishing. It was a value attributed to a literal conquering. Physical prowess, exhaustion of the body. I beat Kevin in the face until the blood spatter belonged to the both of us.
I stepped back and wiped my hands when he was finally on the ground.
“I’m not letting her go, Kevin. I’d rather die than be without her."
I spat blood on the floor.
"Good, cause I came here to kill you," Kevin said. He reached for his gun.
"No!" I shouted before lunging at the weapon.
I wanted to yell that it’d been over twenty years since the grievances he was carrying happened. I wanted to tell him to let Celia fly free and not drag her into old spats that had absolutely nothing to do with her. I wanted to tell him I was a changed man and not that stupid, needy, rebel kid anymore. But the thoughts came in slow motion as I threw myself onto Kevin and his gun.
Maybe Joplin was his salvation, but he didn’t have to push it on anyone else. I didn’t hesitate to throw myself between Celia and harm and time spun out in slow motion as I fell toward Kevin on the ground. I swore I could see the bullet suspended as it spun in the air. I hit the ground, a breathing man, and rolled checking my shoulders and biceps for the gaping bullet entry holes I expected. Then my attention shot to Kevin kneeling, then staggering, astonishment and horror etched into his face. Then to my love, slumped forward over my desk, blood trickling down her arm, off her pointer finger and onto the floor.
Her blood.
My love.
It took every ounce of willpower in me not to kill her father.
He attacked me when I tried to call 911.
“The Joplin doctors will take better care of her. She needs a man of God to see to her wounds,” Kevin blubbered.
I batted him away like a fly as I found her weak pulse, dialed 911, and told Celia to hang on.
When the sirens began to sound, Kevin looked around frantically for the gun. He pocketed it when he found it and ran out of my office without another word. He ran away, left his daughter to die in my arms.