“Do you know about the law of attraction?”
“Is it another fundamental law of physics?”
Lawson used a bottle opener to pop the tops off of two more ice cold bottles of beer and handed me a fresh one.
“Nope, but it’s a law of the Universe. Do you know the work of the great Swiss Psychologist Carl Jung? What you resist, persists and grows larger?”
I shook my head no and guzzled beer, too ashamed to tell him that my reading list inside Joplin consisted of the Bible, and our leader Oliver Joplin’s published interpretations of testament we had laying around.
“The moment I saw you, something shifted in me. The very structure of my well-planned life, didn’t serve me anymore. What mattered most to me was connecting to you. I said fuck it to all the rest, the rules, the consequences, what the establishment would think or say, because all of that was meaningless. Once I laid eyes on you, all that mattered was you.”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew that I felt the same way, but I’d dismissed my own feeling as fantasy or infatuation. But what if it were real? What if Emery Lawson understood love and attraction and could distinguish what was the real thing from a fleeting fancy? Maybe we were meant to be together. I put my face in my hands and tried not to get emotional.
Lawson pulled my hands away from my face and kissed me gently on the lips.
“I don’t have anyone else,” I told him with tears in my eyes.
“You have Lou, and Annalisa the cat lady,” he told me.
“You know what I mean. I feel like I’m putting all my eggs in one basket and even though the basket is the best, better than I ever could have imagined, I’m still scared.”
“Don’t be scared. I know you don’t have much of a support system, but I’d never hurt you, Celia.”
“What if you get fired. What if this ruins your career?”
Lawson sat back then with his elbows beside his knees and his hands clasped in front of his face. He looked at me squarely, jaw set in controlled determination.
“Then you’ll be the best mistake I’ll ever make.”
Chapter 7
EMERY
I knew it was all uncharted territory for her and my sole aim was not to overwhelm her. I could sit and watch the girl eat pizza and drink beer all night and be absolutely satisfied—she was that fascinating to me. Although, her performance in my kitchen topped watching her eat significantly.
My conscience screamed for me to take it slow, while my domineering libido sat on the other shoulder telling me time was a-wasting.
On the contrary to what Celia thought, I wasn’t into corrupting her at all. To me Celia was the epitome of strength and courage—the sheer amount of self-sufficiency it took to escape from a cult on her own, at her age, was awe-inspiring. She could probably corrupt me. I’d lost interest in consequences, repercussions, and taboos, all I wanted was to pursue Celia, to know her, and to protect her.
I took the beer from her hands and set it down on the table.
“Is it too forward if I ask you come upstairs with me and drink on the balcony off my bedroom?”
“If, after that disaster in your kitchen, you’re still interested in me that way,” she told me, color rushing to her face.
I’d never meant to bring her shame, I was driven instead, by the hope to give her freedom, allow her to know herself fully before I imposed my physical body into her space. But now I saw my delivery had not been the most clear. Celia perhaps had no experience in sex and watching her come, which had brought me absolute joy, had embarrassed her.
“Interested? Christ, Celia, I’m absolutely captivated, one hundred percent smitten, turned on, full of longing to touch you and taste you, make you come as many times as I can.”
I touched her then, my fingers finding purchase on the back of her neck, pulling her to my chest. I kissed her forehead, the shell of her ear. She hid her face in my chest and I let my hands fall to her hips.
“I thought you were toying with me?”
“Celia, I am dead serious. I want to know you, I want you to know yourself. How far you want to take it, is entirely up to you. I’d like to give you all of the control.”
She tipped her head back to look at me and took advantage of the moment to crush her lips to mine, to explore her mouth with my tongue. I could feel the sounds in her throat echo in my mouth. Fear, trepidation, desire so consuming she trembled. I grabbed a handful of her ass and simulated thrusting into her with my kiss. She surrendered beautifully, her nipples hard against her dress.