Once in the SUV, he glanced to be sure she’d put on her seat belt, then backed out and joined the line of vehicles exiting the garage.
Cait squeezed her hands together. “There’s something I have to tell you,” she said in a voice that came out a little too high.
He shot her a look. “Did someone say something to you today?”
“What? Oh. No. Nothing like that. It’s about me.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his fingers flex hard on the steering wheel.
“All right,” he said, sounding wary.
“I’d sworn off men when I came to Angel Butte.” And how dumb was that as a beginning? Especially when her swearing off lasted such a millisecond?
They turned out onto the street. Noah waited for her to go on. She was becoming used to his surprising ability to be patient when he wanted to. He was quite capable of relentlessly using silence as a tool.
“Because of Blake, of course. The thing is…” Get on with it. “You’ve probably guessed that my father hit my mother. Me, too, when I got in the way. Colin, when he was younger and smaller. But mostly Mom. Until I found out about Jerry, I was proud of her, that she’d eventually found the courage to leave Dad.”
“I understand,” Noah said, voice a notch huskier even than usual.
He accelerated when the light ahead turned green. Traffic was beginning to open up as they left downtown behind. She had only a few minutes.
“She didn’t think she could support herself and two kids, or she’d have left him way sooner. That’s what she told me. And it was true. She and I lived in shelters off and on for a while before she finally found a decent job.”
He made a sound in his throat she couldn’t interpret.
“I was so filled with hate, I couldn’t imagine how she had stayed with Dad. Acted so normal in the morning when she was moving stiffly from the night before. I didn’t understand how a woman could blame herself when a man hits her.” The sharp pain in Cait’s knuckles came from the way she was knotting her hands so tightly. She was glad of it, needing to hurt on the outside to go with the hurt that was deep inside. “I swore I would never let anyone treat me that way.”
“Cait…”
“Until I did.” In her shame, she couldn’t look at Noah. “Until I let him brainwash me into believing it was my fault he got mad at me. I quit getting together with friends because he didn’t like it. The last time I saw Colin, Blake insisted on going with me. I sat there quiet as a mouse. It wasn’t until he hurt me enough to put me in the hospital that I realized what had happened to me.”
“May he rot in hell,” Noah snarled as he pulled into Colin’s driveway.
Aching to escape, she finally turned her head to see his furious face. “I’m talking about me, Noah. Not him. Don’t you understand? I let him do that to me.”
The muscle in his jaw flexing, he braked in front of the house and turned searing blue eyes on her. “If you think that, you’re still letting him victimize you.”
There it was, the contempt she’d feared most. With one hand she unfastened the seat belt even as she opened the door. “Then I guess I’m just cut out to be a victim.”
“Goddamn it, Cait, that’s not what I meant!”
“Please open the back so I can get my bag.”
He came around and unlocked it, giving a hunted glance toward the house. “Cait, come home with me again. Please.”
Determined not to cry in front of him, she shook her head. She grabbed the bag and backed away. “I needed to tell you what happened with Blake so you’d know that I’m not who you think I am.” Her smile didn’t quite come off, but she’d tried. “I hope you’re not a man who wants a woman who is a wimp. I don’t know if I can be anything else, Noah.”
He appeared so stunned, she took pity on him and kept backing up until she bumped into the porch steps. Children’s laughter and then a screech came from beyond a veil of pines.
“Thank you for the ride,” she said politely and fled up the steps.
She was barely inside when he drove away.
The house was completely silent. “Colin?” she called.