Noah swore, rolling away. “Cait. Just a minute.”
She was on birth control, but she had always, without exception, made it a rule that the man had to wear a condom, too. A couple of times Blake had refused. She couldn’t call what he did rape, but it was closer than she wanted to remember.
Don’t. Don’t let him in your head.
Noah fumbled inside the drawer of the bedside stand, still swearing, but finally came up with a condom. Another time she might enjoy putting it on him, but she didn’t think she could right now. She lay quivering, wanting to climb on top of him.
Then he was back, gripping her thighs, parting and lifting them even as he thrust inside her. And, oh, it almost hurt for a moment. He was a bigger man than any of her boyfriends, in every sense, but then she made a strangled sound of satisfaction. He’d been watching her face until then, but now he closed those blue eyes and began to move. Cait moved, too, riding him, struggling for the most intense pressure point, and then she imploded. Was that her crying out in such astonishment? It had to be. As the flash flood of pleasure subsided, she whispered his name, held him tight and reveled in the shudder and buck of his big body.
* * *
PANIC HAD NOAH in an icy grip, and he’d never been more ashamed. He’d known, damn it, he’d known what a terrible idea this was, and he’d done it anyway. Staring at the ceiling, all he could think was that his brain had gotten hijacked the minute he’d seen her gazing wistfully out at the street waiting for her brother. Two minutes longer in his office, and Colin would already have arrived, saving Noah from this monumentally huge screwup.
What was he supposed to do now? Say, Wow, babe, that was fun but we shouldn’t have done it? Especially when the coils of panic tightened because what had just happened had been one hell of a lot more than “fun.” It was the best sex of his life, and he didn’t want to think about what that meant. He desperately wanted to be alone, but he not only had to get her moving without saying anything he’d regret later; he also had to drive her home and potentially face her brother’s hostile stare.
“Oh, my God,” she mumbled. He could just make out the words. Her face was squashed against his biceps.
Aware her stillness was no longer post-orgasm lassitude but rather her brain gearing up, he gave her a gentle squeeze.
“I hope that was worshipful,” he said, trying for light but failing.
“More freaked.” Cait lifted her head and blinked a couple of times as if remembering how.
Annoyed, Noah scowled. “I thought it was damn good.”
“I work for you.” She scooted away, one arm held protectively in front of her breasts. Which left him with a nice view of everything else. His body stirred.
“I thought we cleared that.”
“Do you think Earl would agree? Or George Miller?”
“They’re not here.” His own panic had been completely supplanted by irritation and a different kind of panic. Was she saying this was a one-off she already deeply regretted?
She slid off the bed and scuttled around to the foot, grabbing clothes and holding them in front of her as a more successful shield. “I just…I knew this wasn’t smart.”
“Maybe not,” he admitted, swinging his own feet to the floor. “But we both knew it was coming, didn’t we?”
She opened her mouth, then closed it. Points for honesty.
“We’re attracted to each other,” he said in a milder tone. “We’re adults, both single. What we do out of the public eye is no one’s business.”
That was good, he congratulated himself. He’d been attracted to a lot of women in his lifetime. This wasn’t any different. Or not so different, at least. Why shouldn’t they have an affair? It would wear out sooner or later; they always did. But, by God, he still wanted her. He’d have reached for her right now if she wasn’t making her dismay so plain.
“That’s what you want?” she said after a moment, cautiously. “To hook up when no one knows?”
His teeth ground together. “What’s that supposed to mean? I took you out to dinner, didn’t I? I didn’t tell you to duck while I was driving out of the city parking garage. I’m talking about a reasonably private relationship, that’s all.”