Eventually, Claudia wipes her face and gets herself under control. She pulls away from Jett and says, “I was diagnosed five weeks ago and - ”
He cuts her off. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands to know. I can see him battle his torment at not being told against his desire to support her through this. I’d be upset too, though, and feel for him. He would have dropped everything to be there for her.
She shakes her head as if to say ‘don’t give me grief’. “I didn’t tell anyone, Jett. I didn’t want to burden them with this. Again.”
He moves off the bed, his anger and hurt now clearly visible. Running his hand up and down the back of his neck, he loses his way for a moment and yells, “Burden? You’re not a fucking burden, Claudia!” He sucks in an angry breath. “Fuck!”
I hold my breath, waiting for him to explode further, but his father steps close and says something in his ear. Jett listens and then nods as his father steps back away. Claudia watches him, her face twisting in pain, and in this moment, I understand her desire to protect her family from all this.
From the distress of watching a loved one battle a deadly disease.
A disease they’ve already lived through with her.
A disease they had prayed would never return.
Jett sits next to his sister again and takes a deep breath. His chest heaves as he attempts to calm himself. “I’m sorry, Princess,” he says softly, “but you have to know that I want that fucking burden. I don’t want you to have to go through this alone…none of us want that. So promise me you’ll tell us everything from now on, yeah?”
“I promise,” she whispers.
He puts his hand to her forehead and says, “You’ve got pneumonia?”
I can hardly hear her voice when she responds. “Yes.”
“Fuck,” he mutters as he scrubs his face.
Monica moves to the other side of the bed and looks at Jett, the pain flashing in her eyes again. “The chemo’s wearing her immune system down, Jett. You know how this works.”
“So they’re treating you with chemo? No surgery?” he sounds confused.
Claudia takes hold of his hand. The look on her face reminds me of the look someone gives you when they are about to prepare you for bad news. “Jett, the cancer has spread so the doctors are trying to shrink it with chemo before they operate. I’ve had two lots of chemo and am scheduled to have at least one more, maybe two, before the surgery.”
He stares at her in silence. “How long have you been in here?”
“I was admitted this morning.” She covers her mouth as a coughing fit takes over and when it doesn’t let up easily, she grimaces in pain.
Jett’s hand moves to her shoulder to try and comfort her but I imagine he feels helpless. There’s nothing any of us can do to take this away from her. “God, how the hell did I not notice you were sick?” he asks.
When she stops coughing, she answers him. “I did everything I could to avoid you while I was having chemo. I told you I was busy studying, that I was out with friends, anything to not see you . . . and I locked myself away at home and
told Mum and Dad I had the flu. None of this is on you, Jett. I concealed it well.”
“That’s why you were so eager to cancel our trip away.” Understanding dawns on his face.
She nods. “Yes, that’s the reason.”
Realisation hits me in the gut. This was why she was a little off when she came to visit me at my home.
Claudia yawns and Steve joins his wife next to the bed. Looking at Jett, he says, “It’s late and Claudia needs sleep so you should go home.”
Jett shakes his head. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says firmly.
“Jett, we’re going to be here. We’ll call you if - ” Monica says, but he cuts her off.
“I’m not leaving.”
Claudia reaches out to her Mum and touches her gently on the arm. “You and Dad have been here all day, so why don’t you go and get some rest while Jett stays. You know he’s not going to leave either way.”
Monica’s gaze flicks to Jett and she assesses the situation. I can’t even begin to imagine how a parent must feel in this kind of situation. Watching your child battle an illness must be one of the hardest things to go through. And I understand her wanting to stay with her daughter. But in the end, she nods and squeezes Claudia’s hand. “Okay, we’ll go, but only so you two can have some time together. We’ll be back first thing in the morning.”