And it’s not just about sex. It’s the connection to him I know is missing—the connection that giving yourself over to someone completely brings. The emotional as well as physical. Allowing yourself to be so vulnerable with another person takes the relationship to a whole new level, and I crave that with Luke.
His lips meet mine. Scrunching my eyes closed, I try to block out the instant guilt I feel. Is it cheating if you’re giving your heart to someone even if you’re not giving them your body? Is it cheating if someone is married, but not in love with their spouse anymore?
My lips part as my body sinks into his.
My arms go around his neck as shame stains my heart.
My tongue finds his as turmoil ravages me.
This man might finally break down my walls and cause me to forget my morals. Because how can something that feels so right be so wrong?
Our kiss grows more insistent, more demanding. We both want more from it, and my restraint is near breaking point.
I move my hands to his chest and then down so I can reach under his T-shirt as memories of our night together fill my mind.
Luke groans as my fingers trail a pattern over the ridges of his abs. His hands slide down my back to grip my ass. When he pulls me into his lap, I moan. His erection presses against me, and I grind against it. Holy hell, I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted a man before.
I can’t help myself—I pull Luke’s shirt off. Dragging my mouth from his, I eye his bare chest and abs. The man is made for sin. I swear it. Chiselled muscles taunt me, as does the tattoo on his chest. I love ink on a man. Luke has a couple of tattoos that I want to dedicate time to studying.
My eyes find his and the need I see there causes my thighs to clench tighter against his legs. His hands reach for my face, and he pulls my mouth back to his.
Oh, God.
Please don’t send me to hell for this.
I promise I’ll be a good girl in my next life.
Clearly I’m destined for a life of sin in this one, because as much as my morals are screaming at me to stop, my body has taken over and is all in.
And then Luke pulls his lips from mine. He stares at me, his eyes wild with want and his breaths coming hard and fast. He rakes his fingers through his hair and mutters, “Fuck. Sorry.”
My chest rises and falls hard and fast as I try to catch my breath. And my senses.
Before I can form words, he lifts me and deposits me back on the couch. Reaching for his shirt, he pulls it over his head while he stands. His back is to me, and I take in the way his hand rubs the back of his neck. My eyes are drawn to his muscles rippling under his shirt, and I curse under my breath.
He turns back to look at me. His face is filled with as much torment as I am feeling. “I better go before this gets completely out of hand.”
I nod, breathless. My body is still catching up to my mind. It’s begging me to stop him, but I don’t. Instead, I let Luke leave as I wonder how much longer we can go on like this.
If Luke hadn’t stopped us tonight, I don’t think I would have.
16
Luke
“Mummy!”
Sean’s high-pitched scream draws my attention from Callie. Probably a good thing. I’ve taken a few hours off work to spend with her. She came over for pizza, which we finished about an hour ago. We’ve been on the couch talking since then, but all I can think about is last night and how close we came to sex. It’s been just over two weeks since we slept together and I’m fighting like fuck to respect her feelings about sleeping with a married man. I don’t share her reservations because I know my heart hasn’t belonged to Jolene for a long time, but I never want to pressure Callie to do something she’s not comfortable with. Last night was hard, though. I almost fucked it all up.
Pushing off the couch, I say, “I’ll be back. Don’t eat all that chocolate while I’m gone.”
She grins. “Good luck with that, buddy. Me and chocolate have a long-standing love affair that not even you can come between.”
I return her grin. “I bet.”
Making my way through the house, I contemplate the fact Sean is still having nightmares that end with him calling out for his mother. This has been going on for about a year now. It happens less often, but it still happens. When I arrive at his bedroom, he’s thrashing in his bed, crying. My heart constricts with both pain and anger. The fact Jolene has done this to him, pisses me off. The fact she doesn’t have to see it, causes an intense anger like I’ve never known to consume me. But then again, she was never a mother who was close to her child, so s
he probably wouldn’t even be affected by it.