Chapter 26
Hyde
Fuck.
I’d managed to fuck this night right up. I’d thought bringing Monroe to a fucking pub on game night was the worst mistake I could have made. That was during dinner when I saw the disappointment sitting on her face. Turned out I was wrong. The worst mistake I could have made was letting some motherfucker get to me when he couldn’t keep his eyes off her.
Jealousy wasn’t something I was used to. Hell, this was the first time in my life I’d ever experienced it. Seeing another man even glance sid
eways at Monroe caused a nuclear reaction in my fucking head. I’d fought like fuck not to react to the asshole who mentioned her tits, but when his friend referred to her as a slut, I saw fucking red.
And then I’d lost my shit.
And my woman.
After cleaning myself up, I headed over to her house. She stood in front of me now, at her front door, a bewildered look on her face.
“I don’t want to talk to you tonight,” she said as she pulled her sexy dark-red robe around her. It was distracting as hell because it barely covered her thighs and revealed enough cleavage to get me hard, but now wasn’t the time to be distracted, so I kept my eyes off her body.
“I fucked up, Roe.”
“You think?”
I shoved my fingers through my hair. Fuck. “Let me in so we can talk.”
“I told you that I didn’t want to talk tonight. I need some space to figure out how I’m thinking.”
I didn’t know much about women, but I knew giving her that space would lead nowhere good. “No.”
Her eyes bulged. “You’re kidding me, right? You screw up and then you refuse to give me some space to process what I saw tonight?”
“Fuck, I’m sorry you saw that, sugar. I let that asshole get to me when I should have just told him to fuck off and left it at that.”
“Tell me something, Hyde. Is that standard behaviour for you? Because if fighting is something you do a lot of, I’m not interested in going any further with this.”
I clenched my jaw. “Not usually.” There was no point bringing up my past, because it was exactly that—the past, not the present.
“So does not usually mean you do it sometimes?”
“It means that sometimes it’s called for.”
“Often it’s not. Just so you know.”
I was a fan of Monroe’s attitude but not when it came flying at me like this. This just pissed me off. “There are some things you don’t know about that do require my fists. Let’s just leave it at that. All you need to know is that I don’t usually get them out in this kind of situation.”
She fell silent for a moment. When she crossed her arms over her chest, I knew she was shutting down on me. “I’m getting the drift. You should go. There’s no way you’re getting in my pants tonight.”
Fuck, didn’t she understand? This wasn’t even about getting my dick wet. This was me, trying to make things right.
Frustration filled me, and I tried to force the point. Stepping one foot inside her house, I pushed my way in and had her up against the wall before she could open that pretty mouth of hers and argue with me. “We need to get one thing straight here. I didn’t come over to fuck you. I came to apologise and tell you I would do better next time. I’m far from fucking perfect, though, so if you’re looking for perfection, you’re right—this should end now.”
I’d caged her in with my arms against the wall either side of her, my body flush against hers. I’d expected her to fight me, but she didn’t. Instead, her breathing picked up and she said, “I’m not looking for perfect. I’m just looking for a man who isn’t going to lose his shit like that all the time.” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper when she added, “You scared me tonight, Hyde.”
Regret was a vicious bitch, one I was well acquainted with. Seemed I spent half my fucking life with her on my back. She swooped in and reminded me what a fuck-up I was. The difference this time? I had a reason not to sit with that regret and drink my way through it.
I cupped Monroe’s cheek. “I’m sorry, red. I can’t take it back, but I can sure as fuck vow never to do it again.”
The hesitation I saw in her eyes told me she wasn’t quite sure. Her words confirmed it. “How do you even know you can make that promise? I watched you tonight. You lost yourself in that fight. It was like the violence consumed you. I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep. That’s even worse than not making a promise.”