I nodded. “She and I had a talk about it. I told her not to do it in the house. I figure I can’t control what goes on outside the house, so why fight her on it?”
“You’re delusional, Aiden, if you think that by simply telling her not to do it here will stop her.”
“I know it won’t stop her doing it. But I’m hoping that by not alienating her completely, I’m keeping the communication going between us. And that by giving her some room to figure shit out on her own, she will come to respect me and want to show me she can make better choices.”
My phone buzzed with a text. My dick stirred at the thought of it being from Monroe. We’d been exchanging dirty messages all day.
Monroe: You know how I didn’t want dick the other day?
Me: Yeah.
Monroe: I’m over that. Just so you know.
Me: Thank fuck.
Monroe: I want it every way I can have it tonight.
Me: Ass?
Monroe: Steady on, tiger. A man’s gotta prove himself first.
Tenille cut in, “Are you just going to ignore me now? Your woman’s got all your attention, has she?” She spat her words out like they tasted awful. I imagined they did, and I hated that I’d caused her to feel this way. I needed to fix whatever issue we had here.
“Tee,” I started, but the sound of glass smashing outside distracted me. Placing my phone down on the counter, I said, “Hold that thought. I’ll be back.”
Jogging outside, I discovered that some kids were playing ball on the road and had smashed one of my neighbour’s windows. He was already outside dealing with it, and waved me off, letting me know he had it under control.
By the time I got back inside, Tenille had my phone in her hands and had scrolled my messages with Monroe. She looked at me with a level of hurt I’d never seen coming. “I thought you didn’t really know Monroe.”
“Fuck,” I muttered. Yet another conversation I wasn’t prepared for. Scrubbing my face, I said, “I didn’t when you asked. Now I do.”
She shoved my phone at me. “So you coming back to us wasn’t you wanting me back?”
I frowned. “You’re married, Tee. While I’m not a fan of Craig’s, it was never my intention to break up your family when I came back.”
“Do you still love me?” she demanded.
“It’s been fourteen years. I never thought I could come back, so I had to find a way to move on.”
“So that’s a no, then?”
“I’ll always love you, but I’m not in love with you, no. You can’t stand there and tell me you’re in love with me. You moved on years ago.” Christ, this was a fucked-up mess.
Her breaths came hard and fast while she stared at me. She seemed lost, and I tried to figure out how to deal with that, but I was out of my fucking depth here. “I did move on, but you coming back has stirred so many feelings in me that I never knew were buried. I only moved on because I thought you were dead. Not because I stopped loving you.”
“You’re telling me you don’t love Craig?”
“I don’t know anymore. My thinking is all screwed up.”
“Where is he?”
“He’s working. Splitting his time between Melbourne and Perth.”
“No, I mean why isn’t he here? Why isn’t he fighting for you to go home?” She’d hardly heard from him as far as I knew.
She wrapped her arms around herself like she was trying to warm up, even though it wasn’t a cold day. “I don’t know,” she said quietly.
I moved to her and pulled her into my arms. Tenille would always be the woman I’d loved first and the mother of my child. I’d never stop loving her, but there was no way back to each other as far as I was concerned. However, my guilt at what I’d put her through over the years ate me alive. Some days I was sure it would consume me. They were the days I hit the whisky the hardest. If I had any chance at defe