“You didn’t trust them.”
“Maybe to some extent,” she admitted. “After everything that had happened, I wasn’t sure they’d want me around. But it was mostly because I didn’t want them to be hurt by what I’d done or think I expected someone else to take responsibility. Now I realize it hurt them more by staying away.”
He was silent a moment. “You should give yourself a break.”
“Why should I when you won’t? You’re still angry that I didn’t force you to accept that Alex was your child. Admit it, you still feel it’s my fault, somehow.”
Jackson glanced at the kids a couple hundred feet away. “Maybe we should try to stop throwing accusations at each other. I handled it badly when you got pregnant, but we have to figure out a way to make this work.”
“I didn’t mean to throw accusations, and certainly not about the pregnancy. It was both our responsibilities. And now I understand why you suddenly dumped me and went back to Marcy. At the time it looked as if you’d scored a few times, so you didn’t have any more use for me.”
Perhaps it was the rosy light of the lowering sun, but Jackson’s neck seemed to redden slightly.
“I’m sorry it came off that way.”
She sighed. “Fine. Let’s just enjoy this beautiful place for an hour without dredging up garbage from the past.”
“That’s a good idea. Shall I tell you everything I know about Yellowstone?”
“Thanks, but I’ll wait for a park ranger.”
* * *
JACKSON WAS GRATEFUL for the temporary truce as they retraced the trail. The youngsters had gotten spooked by something rustling in the shadowed forest undergrowth and had hastily closed the distance between themselves and the adults. They quickly recovered their composure, however, and chattered back and forth about movies such as Gremlins and The Blair Witch Project.
“Isn’t DeeDee too young for those films?” he asked Kayla in a low voice.
“Yup. She saw them at a friend’s house during a slumber party. She isn’t allowed back there.”
The corners of Jackson’s mouth twitched at Kayla’s stern expression; it was nice to know she was a mama bear when it came to her children.
“Luckily, DeeDee doesn’t scare easily,” Kayla added.
“She does seem self-assured.”
Back at the campsite Jackson lit a fire and everyone gathered around it. He wasn’t sure how Morgan would react when Elizabeth brought out marshmallows, chocolate bars and graham crackers—the last time he’d suggested making s’mores, Morgan had put up her nose and called it “kiddie stuff.” But his daughter took one look at Alex and DeeDee eagerly poking marshmallows on barbecue forks and didn’t waste a second doing it herself.
“Careful,” Morgan warned as Alex tried to shake a burning marshmallow from his barbecue fork. “Remember what happened in Wild Hogs.”
Alex laughed. “Yeah, but there’s no way we could all share a sleeping bag. DeeDee kicks.”
“Ha,” DeeDee said. “You’re the one who ends up with his head where his feet should be.”
The charred marshmallow dropped into the glowing coals and Alex stuck a fresh one on his fork.
Wild Hogs. Jackson remembered the film about four aging friends taking a motorcycle road trip, though he didn’t recall a marshmallow incident. It seemed as if most of the movies he’d seen, he hadn’t truly watched. What had happened to his ability to simply enjoy the moment?
Right now was a good example. He kept averting his gaze from Kayla and how the firelight glinted on her hair, turning the color to molten gold. She was a beautiful woman in a beautiful setting; he should simply appreciate the sight. After all, neither of them was interested in each other.
So no problem.
Feeling the tightening in his groin, Jackson put a marshmallow on a barbecue fork and extended it over the fire. Maybe he was better off being cautious.
* * *
JACKSON’S METHODICAL PLAN for seeing Yellowstone was annihilated the following morning. The first thing the kids wanted to see was the Old Faithful Geyser, followed by a visit to the nearby souvenir shop.
An idea occurred to him, though, and he watched until he could talk to his daughter alone in the store.
“Morgan, DeeDee’s birthday is in a few days,” he said quietly. “Shall we pick out a gift?”
“I already got her something from me.” Morgan hurried away to join Alex, who was looking at books.
Jackson released an exasperated breath. When could Morgan possibly have gotten a gift?
Jackson looked at a jewelry display and tried to recall if he’d seen DeeDee wearing any necklaces or bracelets. He’d actually already gotten a present for her in Schuyler, but he couldn’t use it now since Morgan would realize he’d suggested shopping together as an afterthought.