I nod but don’t say anything else before exiting her room. If I speak, I’ll bawl like a baby.
Holly stands when she spots me. Sympathy lines her face. “Come here,” she says, pulling me into a hug.
That does it; I break down and sob in her arms. Thank God the waiting room is empty, although at this point, I don’t think I’d care if the whole world watched me cry. I just need to let it all out and I need to do that with my sister’s arms around me.
When I recover enough to talk, I pull away. “I’m so confused, Hols.”
When Fury brought me home yesterday, I shared with her what he and I had talked about. She nods her understanding. “I know, and so that’s why I’ve taken the entire day off and we’re going to spend it doing whatever you want. If you want to talk, we can. If you want to sleep, you can. If you want to make me a cake, you can.” She grins. “For the record, I’m voting on the cake option.”
Holly was only supposed to have a couple of hours off this morning to come with me. That she’s taken the whole day means everything because I don’t feel like being alone after that appointment.
“I think I want to go and see Mum.”
“You feel ready to tell her?”
“Yes. And then we can hang out with her for the day if she’s up to it. Maybe spend the day in the sun, by the pool.”
“And then we’ll go home and you’ll make me a cake?”
I laugh. “Yes, I’ll make you a cake.”
* * *
We’re halfway to Mum’s when I receive a text.
* * *
Fury: How was the shrink?
* * *
He put his name in my phone? I knew he said I have his number from when he tried to call me the other night, but I didn’t know he’d keyed his name in.
* * *
Me: Hard.
Fury: You told her everything?
Me: Yes.
Fury: Good.
Me: I’m going to make a cake late this afternoon. Feel free to come over and help us eat it.
* * *
I’m disappointed when he doesn’t reply to that, but I’m not sure I thought he actually would, so I don’t dwell on it. Instead, I put my phone away and concentrate on what I’m about to do. No matter what the psychologist has told me about shame and self-blame, I’m still flooded with both when I think about that night. I’m hopeful she’s right, and that I will, in time, be able to move past these feelings. For now, though, they’re still something I have to deal with. And the idea of talking to my mother about it all only causes the feelings to flare horribly.
“Dad’s here,” Holly says as we pull into Mum and King’s driveway.
“I take it that means
Robbie’s time at his place is coming to an end,” I say sarcastically. Dad only shows up when he wants something, and I’m guessing he wants to give his son back.
“Either that or he wants to borrow money.” Dad is incapable of holding down a job, and his new wife is all about fancy things, so he’s always scrounging for cash. That he has the hide to ask Mum to lend it to him drives me insane. She never says yes, but it doesn’t stop him trying.
“Honestly, I’m not sure why King doesn’t just put his foot down and tell Dad he can’t come over anymore,” I mutter.