“What?”
He pulled out of me and let me down. “I fucked you without a condom.”
“I’m clean and on the pill.” I tried to reassure him.
“I’m clean, too.” He still seemed annoyed, though.
“It felt good, baby.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, gruffly. “But I won’t lose control like that again, I promise.”
I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me. “It’s okay to lose control, Donovan. You’re wound so tight with that control. Let it go, baby.”
He didn’t say anything, and then he left me to walk out of the room. I watched with a heavy heart. Something held him back, kept a part of him locked away from me, and I wanted to know what it was.
Chapter Eighteen
Blade
“Baby, stop.”
A hand landed on my arm and gently shook me awake. I sat bolt upright, my heart beating wildly in my chest, my breathing hard to get under control.
“Donovan,” Layla’s voice penetrated my thoughts, and I turned to look at her.
“Sorry,” I murmured as I scrubbed my hand over my face.
Fuck.
“Don’t apologise. You were having a bad dream.”
Fuck.
I pushed the bed covers off, moved off the bed and headed into the bathroom. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I flicked the tap on and splashed water on my face. Jesus, I looked like shit today. When the fuck would this madness end?
I walked back into Layla’s room and picked up my clothes. As I began dressing, she left the bed and came to me.
“Are you leaving?” The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable.
I kept dressing and said, “Yeah, I’ve got stuff to take care of this morning.”
“Who’s Ashley?”
I froze.
My heart thumped in my chest.
I struggled for breath.
My eyes met hers, and my focus went in and out as I struggled to see through the haze.
“Fuck.” The word came from my mouth, but I heard it as if someone in the distance uttered it.
My past collided with my future and the torment I’d lived with for so long came rushing to the surface.
“Talk to me,” Layla whispered, and I heard the plea in her voice.
“She was my fiancé.”