The words reverberated through me as I rolled over to stare at him. Everything went still. My eyes were so wide, I could only imagine what I looked like.
His face was shock, which quickly turned to horror. He scrambled up off the bed, moving away like both it and I were on fire. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and yanked them on.
“You love me?” I gasped.
“No, I don’t!” He blurted it out, his face contorting into an expression of embarrassment a split second before his feet pounded on the floor and he thundered from the room.
The words reverberated through me as I rolled over to stare at him. Everything went still. My eyes were so wide, I could only imagine what I looked like.
His face was shock, which quickly turned to horror. He scrambled up off the bed, moving away like both it and I were on fire. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and yanked them on.
“You love me?” I gasped.
“No, I don’t!” He blurted it out, his face contorting into an expression of embarrassment a split second before his feet pounded on the floor and he thundered from the room.
The words reverberated through me as I rolled over to stare at him. Everything went still. My eyes were so wide, I could only imagine what I looked like.
His face was shock, which quickly turned to horror. He scrambled up off the bed, moving away like both it and I were on fire. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and yanked them on.
“You love me?” I gasped.
“No, I don’t!” He blurted it out, his face contorting into an expression of embarrassment a split second before his feet pounded on the floor and he thundered from the room.
The words reverberated through me as I rolled over to stare at him. Everything went still. My eyes were so wide, I could only imagine what I looked like.
His face was shock, which quickly turned to horror. He scrambled up off the bed, moving away like both it and I were on fire. He grabbed his boxers off the floor and yanked them on.
“You love me?” I gasped.
“No, I don’t!” He blurted it out, his face contorting into an expression of embarrassment a split second before his feet pounded on the floor and he thundered from the room.
Chapter
THIRTY-TWO
KYLE
Well, I couldn’t have fucked that up more if I’d tried.
I was too distracted thinking about the disaster I’d just run from, so I let my subconscious handle everything else. My nervous hand poured a glass of bourbon, neat, and I carried it to the window in my living room.
I stared out at the view of the city at night, looking but not seeing anything.
My head was so heavy with thoughts, it was crushing. Ruby had been asleep. She hadn’t even stirred when I’d uttered her name. The thought had struck me then; I could say whatever I wanted. I could practice.
Test the sweet nothing out on her before actually doing it.
I’d never said it before, not even to my parents or my sister. Weren’t you supposed to practice before doing something? Fucking hell. The bourbon was warm as it slid down my throat.
I had one hand on my hip, and the other wrapped around my glass, and my shoulders tensed as her footsteps approached. When her arms went around me, I saw the white sleeves. She’d put on my dress shirt. My eyes closed as her palms pressed against my chest, and she flattened against me. Kisses were planted on the bare skin of my back.
It felt so goddamn nice.
“I would have stayed,” I said on a low voice. “If you’d asked me not to go to New York, I would have stayed. For you.”
She let out a soft cry, her body shuddering against mine. My intent wasn’t to hurt her, or make her cry, but she needed to know. I was sick of holding back feelings for so long they turned to poison inside, but . . . shit. I had no idea how to get them out, either.
“I would have gone with you,” she said, “if you’d asked me.”
My heart twisted painfully.
Why had it been so hard for us? I wasn’t afraid of much. Shove me in front of an intimidating jury and I’d excel. So why the hell had I been terrified to put myself out there to Ruby?
I took another sip of my bourbon, set it down, and grasped her hands that were pressed to my skin. She stood still as I turned, urging her to keep her arms around my waist. She gazed up at me, her eyes shining.
“We’re going to do better this time around,” I swore to her. No more unspoken wishes or feelings.
She nodded enthusiastically as I brushed an errant tear from beneath her eye.
“What just happened back there?” she asked.
“I didn’t think you were awake.”
“Did you mean it?”
My lips parted to speak. It was the first big test, and I would be damned if I’d fail, even though it was scary. It meant so much.
“That I love you?” Everything hinged on this moment. “Yes.”
She filled her lungs with air. Ruby didn’t blink at my admission and her beautiful face was frozen. Like she couldn’t accept it. And why should she, my brain fired back. She’d only been waiting half a decade to hear it.
The lack of response from her was pure agony. It dragged, and dragged, and I wondered if this was what I’d done to her all the times I’d been silent. It was awful, and I deserved it.