I hadn’t stuttered in years.
Kyle’s face skewed with concern and his voice was soothing. “It’s okay. There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“I’m not.” I shook my head, frustrated with myself. The worst part was speaking after the stutter. Worrying it would continue almost always made it happen, so I forced myself not to overthink. “I don’t know where that came from.”
He searched my face, and hesitated before proceeding. “All right. You were saying?”
“We need to talk about,” I said, pleased the stutter was gone, “how this will change our partnership.”
“I don’t think it would change much. We’re already exclusive, discussed limits, and agreed to be honest with each other.”
His casual avoidance struck a nerve and my excitement flagged. “Don’t think,” I said coolly, “I don’t know what you’re doing.”
“What am I doing?”
“Avoiding discussion of the terms you laid down in the last paragraph.”
His arrogant look was infuriating. “Which terms are those?”
“Don’t.” My voice was filled with so much warning, it sobered him. “Just because you don’t have any, doesn’t mean you get to treat my feelings like they’re a game.”
It was a bit unfair, but how I felt. He looked offended. “I have feelings.”
“Yeah?” I tossed his words back at him. “Prove it.”
His shoulders straightened and his expression fell until he looked like he might be ill.
As I waited for him to find a response, my annoyance grew to dangerous levels. He thought I’d give him my submission and expect nothing in return? And he was typically quick with words. Why was it so hard for him to just say what he wanted? It made me suspect everything he said was calculated.
“I’m willing to talk about how I feel,” he said finally, “but I’m going to need you to do it first.”
Seriously? More evidence this was a game to him, and I wasn’t going to play it.
“Okay, fine. I already apologized for the lies I left on the voicemail message. And I’m sorry for whatever I said when I was so drunk I didn’t even realize I was sleeping on a bunch of coat hangers on my sister’s floor.” Anger threatened to overtake me, but I shoved it down. “You knew I was wasted, and yet you never called me back. Do I wish we’d both done things differently? Sure. But what do you expect me to do other than say I’m sorry and try to move forward?”
This was his opening to now apologize for his mistakes.
Instead, he stared at me like he was trying to decide if he should select me from a jury pool.
I’d done my part, and his silence was infuriating. I shot to my feet so fast, I bumped the table and our silverware rattled. “Forget it. I just remembered I have plans to be somewhere else.”
“Sit down.”
It was the dark tone and my knees went soft, but the rest of me stayed strong. “No. I can’t do this anymore if it’s not leading somewhere.”
He stood, bringing us face to face. “You want it to?”
Hadn’t I just told him I did? He’d trapped me. Forced and manipulated me into revealing my feelings and breaching his stupid agreement. I thought I wanted his dominance, but not if it was going to be like this.
“Yes,” I said. Of course I wanted more. At least, I had until fifteen seconds ago. Anger burned up my throat as I pushed the question at him. “W-W-Why the hell don’t you?”
His mouth dropped open. No sound came out at all.
Oh, fuck this. I couldn’t deal with more of his silence when I needed him to not leave me hanging. I ripped my coat off the back of my chair, grabbed my purse, and fled from him, wishing I could
hurry away from the stuttered sentence just as easily.
Chapter