My face burned as I unfolded his paper and looked at Kyle’s desires, the ones he’d been so nervous to reveal and worried I’d judge him. I scanned the checkmarks beside the items and my mouth went dry.
Holy.
Fucking.
Shit.
I’d marked almost twice as many boxes as he had.
Chapter
NINETEEN
KYLE
It was a miracle my jaw didn’t hit the table with an audible thump. I stared at the columns of text and her perfectly ticked checkmarks beside them, and my dick hardened at the speed of light.
“Jesus,” I breathed.
I’d made a colossal mistake.
Her face turned bright red, and she folded my list back in two, setting it before her and ripped her gaze from mine. Embarrassed and ashamed, and I couldn’t fucking stand it.
“Fuck, Ruby. Give that back to me, I need to add to it.” I’d been so stupid. This had been my chance to communicate whatever I wanted, and I’d blown it.
“This was a mistake,” she said, still refusing to meet my gaze.
“No, no, the only mistake was mine.” I leaned across the table, grabbed the paper, and dug a pen out of my jacket as fast as humanly possible. “I thought I’d scare you away, and I played it safe. I’m sorry I underestimated you.”
She sat completely still as I marked off all the boxes I really wanted to. Her posture was stiff. “You were supposed to be honest.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to start this thing off with a lie, but the idea of losing her before we even began had made me second-guess myself. At least my genuine apology seemed to soften her. “Look at me,” I ordered when I’d finished. “You’re fucking amazing, you know that?”
Her reluctant gaze trailed over the table, up my chest, and finally reached my eyes.
“I’d forgotten how perfect we are together. I won’t forget again.” It was skirting the line of our agreement, but fuck it. I thrust my willing list back toward her. “This time, it’s one hundred percent.”
She took it from me, looking reluctant.
I hadn’t gotten a chance to examine her list before. I had opened it, saw the high number of answers, and my brain went haywire. This time, I savored each ticked box.
Everything I wanted to try was here, and to get a chance to do it with Ruby? “I feel like the luckiest fucking guy in the world.”
She still hadn’t looked at my revised answers, and I scrambled to salvage. My priority was her not walking away. If she did, I was certain we’d be done for, and I wasn’t going to allow it. She was back in my life now; I wouldn’t tolerate the alternative.
“Please,” I said. “I’ll give you whatever you want. Anything. I’m so excited about your answers, I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my goddamn life. Just look under the table.”
Her lips twitched, threatening a smile, but it didn’t break.
“Or look at my list,” I added, “and see how much fun we’re going to have together.”
She latched a hand on the bell of her wine glass, brought it to her lips, and drained the entire glass. When it was done, she set it down, her fingertips pausing on the rim as if deciding our fate right then and there.
I exhaled as she unfolded my paper, and her blue eyes scanned downward. My expressive girl tried to maintain indifference, but she failed when she licked her lips, and her gaze focused with interest.
“Your list is impressive,” I said, full of appreciation. The spankings weren’t a surprise, and neither was the girl-on-girl action. But there were several items on there I wouldn’t have guessed, and I was fucking thrilled. “Have you done much of the stuff—”
“No.” Her eyes widened a degree. “Like, not any of it.” She turned her empty wine glass on the table, as if needing something to occupy her hands. “But . . . I’m all for trying new things.”