I won‘t.‘
She reached the doorway a little before Cristiano. Alexander was sitting up, and he and Lizzie had their heads bent together over the racing car book which lay open on the bed. Some of the machines had been taken away, Kate realised, and the room looked bigger, less alarming.
Lizzie looked up as she came in.
You‘re back!‘ she said, her face breaking into a smile. And you look so much better! How did it—?‘
She stopped abruptly as Cristiano appeared in the doorway. Her eyes widened.
Lizzie, this is Cristiano Maresca. Cristiano—Lizzie Hill.‘
He moved forward, his hand outstretched, his face perfectly grave except for a faint smile.
Molto piacere, Lizzie.‘
Lizzie was blushing, Kate noticed disgustedly. Confident, sassy, in control Lizzie had fallen instantly under Cristiano‘s spell just like everyone else, and was blushing like a schoolgirl. Luckily Cristiano turned his attention to Alexander before she actually swooned.
And you must be—‘
Alexander was looking at him steadily with dark, unblinking eyes. Before Cristiano could finish he said, very clearly, Man in the car.‘
Kate went over to the bed. What‘s that, sweetheart?‘
Alexander kept his eyes fixed on Cristiano, as if he expected him to disappear at any moment. Man in the car. In my book.‘
Kate opened her mouth to speak, but shut it again. She wasn‘t sure that either of them would hear her anyway. Alexander was still staring up at Cristiano with solemn, fascinated eyes, and Cristiano was looking right back.
The expression on his face took her breath away.
I‘m Cristiano.‘
From the car. See…?‘ Dropping his gaze, Alexander began turning the pages of the book Lizzie had brought him until he came to a huge photograph, spread across two pages, of a green sports car. The driver was quite clearly Cristiano.
Cristiano lowered himself gently onto the edge of the bed, leaning in to see the book. Kate turned away, closing eyes that stung with sudden tears, but the image of the two dark heads so close together seemed to have burned itself onto her retinas.
Oh, God—this was what she had wanted, wasn‘t it? So why did it hurt so much?
Yes, that‘s my car.‘ The deep, dark Italian voice reached her through the darkness like a caress. Do you like cars?‘
Yes,‘ Alexander said quickly. Kate opened her eyes in time to see him reach for the red car Dominic had given him for Christmas from on top of the bedside locker. I got lots of cars. This is my Spider.‘
Very gently Cristiano took it from him, holding it in his beautiful brown hand. Turning it round reverently, he examined it for a long time. Kate and Lizzie were both watching, spellbound. Magnifico,‘ he said gravely, handing it back. I wish I had a Spider.‘
Alexander took it, an expression of fierce pride on his face. What car do you have?‘ he asked.
A Campano. At the moment I have the new CX8. I‘ve been testing it.‘
His eyes met Kate‘s, and a meteor shower of dazzling sensation exploded in her pelvis.
On the bed, Alexander gave a little bounce of excitement. Can I go in it?‘
There was a pause. Kate seemed to have forgotten about breathing.
Cristiano‘s gaze was still holding hers, and the intensity of unreadable emotion in it made her feel as if she wanted to shield her eyes. It was such a contrast with the remote, businesslike stranger in the hotel that for a second she felt hope leap inside her.
And then he was turning away, back to Alexander, a slow, heartbreaking smile spreading over his face.
Yes,‘ he said, his voice a deep rasp. Yes, of course. If your mamma says you can. When you‘re better.‘
Can I, Mummy? Can I? Can I? ‘ Alexander piped, looking up at her with his face alight with excitement.
And in that moment Kate understood that she had lost him. Or rather that there had been a part of her son that had never been hers.
Chapter Eleven
AND SO I thought I‘d leave Dominic and join the Moscow State Circus as a naked trapeze artist. What do you think?‘
Hmm. That‘s good.‘
Dully, Kate pushed a mass of pulped tomatoes through a sieve to get rid of the pips. Making soup had seemed like a good idea when she started, but somewhere along the line she seemed to have lost interest. Or energy. Or both.
From the next room the theme tune to one of Alexander and Ruby‘s favourite television shows started up. Lizzie got up from where she‘d been sitting at the table and came to stand beside her.
OK. I‘ll try not to take it personally that you haven‘t listened to a word I‘ve said for the last half-hour. The kids are going to be glued to the television for the next twenty minutes, so how about you stop doing that and tell me how you are?‘
Kate looked up, blinking. I‘m fine.‘
Lizzie raised her eyebrows sceptically. Come off it, Kate. Since Alexander came out of hospital you‘ve been like a cat on hot bricks, which is perfectly understandable given what you‘ve been through.‘ She set her mug down on the draining board with a sigh. I just wish you‘d talk about it, though. Dominic and I are worried about you.‘
Where have I heard that before? Kate thought sourly. The new, bitter and twisted Kate Edwards who had taken over the body of the old one couldn‘t quite forgive Lizzie and Dominic for starting all this in the first place. If it hadn‘t been for their concern last time, life would be carrying on as normal now.
You mustn‘t worry,‘ she said wearily to Lizzie. I‘m worrying enough for the whole of Yorkshire at the moment.‘
About Alexander?‘
Mostly. I keep checking him for signs of a fever or mystery rashes. I go in and check if he‘s breathing several times a night.‘
Lizzie made a sympathetic clucking sound and laid a hand on Kate‘s arm.
That‘s entirely normal after he was so ill. And of course the situation with Cristiano doesn‘t help. Have you heard from him since he went back to Monaco?‘
Kate flinched. No. And as the Grand Prix season is about to start I‘m not expecting to hear anything for months. I half expected a letter from his solicitor, but maybe the fact I haven‘t had one means he‘s lost interest in being a father.‘
Oh, dear, was that sour voice really hers? She clamped her mouth shut against a further tirade of bitterness and focused instead on the red pulp in the sieve, mashing it with extra force.
I don‘t think so. He was obviously knocked out by Alexander, but he must be very busy with training,‘ Lizzie said soothingly. Being a racing driver is a pretty full-time job.‘
Try explaining that to Alexander when he asks fifty-seven times a day when Cristiano is coming to take him out in his car.‘
There was a knock at the door. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Kate went to open it, catching sight of her pale, pinched face in the hall mirror as she did so.
God, I look like a ghost, she thought despairingly. This morning, knowing Lizzie was dropping in and not wanting to face another barrage of concerned questions, she had at least forced herself to wash her hair. It was just a shame she couldn‘t wash the dark circles away from under her eyes as well.
Another loud knock at the door made her jump. It was probably her mother.
Arranging her face in what she hoped was the normal expression of someone who was perfectly happy and coping fine—although she wasn‘t sure she knew what that was any more—she opened the door.
There, standing on the pavement, his dazzling dark beauty looking utterly out of place against the greystone drabness of Hartley Bridge, stood Cristiano.
Her heart stopped. Her mouth opened, but under his lazy, mocking gaze she found it was impossible to speak.
He, of course, didn‘t have any such difficulty.
I‘ve just driven for fifteen hours to get here, so please don‘t tell me this is a bad time to call.‘
His voice was husky, intimate, caressing. Kate felt the colour surge upwards into her cheeks as her stomach imploded with shameful want.
No, of course not,‘ she said hoarsely, stepping aside to let him come in.
He didn‘t get the chance. Alexander, coming into the hall to see who it was, had spotted him. Hurtling past Kate, he threw himself forward and Cristiano scooped him up in his arms.
Cristiano! You came back! Did you bring your car?‘
Absolutely,‘ Cristiano said gravely, turning around. The dark green sports car that Kate remembered from Courchevel was parked at the kerbside a little way along the street, looking as incongruous as a sabre-toothed tiger in a petting zoo. I drove it all the way back from France so you could see it.‘
‘Wow!’
We‘re going,‘ Lizzie whispered, giving Kate a hasty peck on the cheek and a meaningful look as she slid out of the door with Ruby—protesting hotly at being torn away from the television—wriggling in her arms. Call me later.‘