Exactly. And they were all so beautiful and glamorous, and I felt so…out of place. Fast cars scare the life out of me anyway, and I was totally unprepared for the noise and the petrol smell and everything. It was all a bit of a nightmare.‘
She was talking faster now, her head bent, her hair falling forward and partly covering her face. He wanted to reach over and tuck it behind her ear, so he could see her properly, but didn‘t trust himself to touch her.
I watched you qualifying from the balcony of the Campano building,‘ she went on, and then afterwards I went to the press suite to do the interview. Your PA said you‘d want to shower and rest for a while first, so I waited. Everyone else had disappeared to a party on some yacht and the place was deserted. When you didn‘t appear I thought you must have gone with them, and I felt really stupid for waiting like that.‘ She took a deep breath. So I went to look for you…‘
She faltered and stopped, seeming to search for words for a moment, before shaking her head and saying nervously, But I‘m sure you don‘t want to know all of this.‘
Cristiano reached out and took the plate from her crossed legs, placing it back on the tray. The brioche had been reduced to a heap of crumbs.
Yes, I do,‘ he said, with quiet irony. She couldn‘t begin to understand how much.
I found the room with your name on the door,‘ she said very quietly. You were asleep.‘
Cristiano gave a hollow laugh. A classic interview-avoidance technique.‘
Kate moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue and darted him a quick glance from behind that curtain of honey-coloured hair. Her cheeks were pink.
The thing is you were really deeply asleep.‘ Her voice was little more than a whisper now. You were lying there, very still, and you hardly seemed to be breathing and…and…I thought you were…d-dead.‘ She raised her head and looked at him with those luminous blue eyes. Ridiculous, isn‘t it?‘
Cristiano was about to make some sardonic remark, but stopped himself when he saw the stricken expression on her face. Not ridiculous at all,‘ he said gravely. He hesitated, and then almost unwillingly found himself continuing,
When I first started driving my biggest weakness was my inability to concentrate, so I taught myself deep meditation techniques. They helped me to focus, and also to come down from the adrenaline rush after a race because they slow your heart-rate.‘ Keeping his eyes fixed on hers, he picked up her hand and laid it against his chest. Mine is unusually slow to start with anyway…see?‘
Her clear eyes widened. Darkened. The room was very still and quiet as the moment stretched and she waited…listening…feeling the beat of his heart.
Which, of course, had accelerated the instant she touched him. Maledetto.
What the hell was he doing, telling her about his weaknesses anyway? That was the second time he‘d let slip something private. He‘d be spilling everything before he knew it—all the shameful details of his past.
That at least would bring this thing to a quick and painless end, he thought bitterly, noticing the jump of her pulse beneath the rose-gold skin of her throat.
Suki was right. She wasn‘t his type at all. There was no future in this, and it wasn‘t fair to let her believe for a second that there was. Later he would mention something about getting her back to Monaco. After he‘d found out what he needed to know.
So, what happened next?‘ he asked roughly.
She pulled her hand away, curling her fingers and burying them in the folds of his white shirt. She took a quick breath. I was feeling for a pulse…and you woke up…and…‘
Let me guess. I took full advantage of the situation?‘
She gave a breathy laugh, but there was an edge to it. No. You tried. But I…I stormed out.‘
‘Buon per te.’
You came after me. It was getting pretty late by then, so you offered to take me back to your house to do the interview.‘
Which is how I managed to scare the living daylights out of you on the way, and then take full advantage of that situation,‘ Cristiano said cuttingly.
It was surprisingly uncomfortable being given an insight into his past mode of operation. Sitting up abruptly he punched a goosedown pillow into shape and leaned back against it, putting a bit more distance between himself and the bit of her bare thigh that wasn‘t covered up by the shirt.
It wasn‘t like that,‘ she said carefully. You cooked dinner for me.‘
Pasta?‘
She gave a little indrawn breath and lifted her head. You remember?‘
Cristiano gave a twisted smile.
No. It was a race weekend. I eat nothing but pasta.‘
Oh. Of course.‘
She got up then, unfurling her legs and wrapping her arms across her body as if she was cold. We sat outside, by the pool, and…we talked. I asked you the questions I‘d been given.‘ She walked over to the window and stood there with her back to him, so he had a perfect view of her long legs beneath the shirt. He thought fleetingly of all the enticing, erotic creations of silk and lace and even on occasion leather that women had worn to please him in bed over the years, and wondered why none of them had ever had quite the same effect as this. This girl with skin like cream and her soft voice and her gentle hands.
Did I answer them?‘ he asked blandly, making a desperate effort to keep his mind on what she was saying.
She turned round, leaning back against the glass. With the sunlit snow-covered mountains behind her, and the morning sun making her hair gleam, she looked like an advert for some kind of wholesome milk-and-honey-type product. She smiled.
Not really. Somehow you managed to focus the conversation on me more than you, and I ended up telling you all about my brother and my father. You listened.‘
Maledizione.
Of course he‘d listened, he thought disgustedly. Diverting the subject away from himself and listening instead of talking was just one of the techniques he‘d honed to perfection over the years, and one of the ways he avoided giving anything away about himself. It meant nothing. To him, anyway. To her it had obviously been significant enough for her to think he was worthy of her virginity.
He rubbed a hand over his face, pressing his fingers into his temple as if he could somehow erase the realisation of what he‘d been. Often in the hospital he‘d thought that the accident was a punishment for the suffering he‘d put his mother through, but now it seemed just as likely to be some kind of divine retribution for the way he‘d used people.
Women. So many of them that their beautiful faces, their willing bodies, blurred into one. Too many to remember.
Caro Dio, the irony.
Reaching for one of the towels that was folded on the chair beside the bed he got up, wrapping it around his hips as he walked towards her. Suddenly he didn‘t want to hear any more.
Kate…‘
She lifted her head slightly, meeting his gaze with an expression on her face that was almost defiant. It helped,‘ she said simply. To admit how scared I was—how scared I‘d always been, of so many things. You told me that a life lived in fear is no life at all.‘
Cristiano grimaced. And that was the line I used to get you into bed?‘
Her shy smile pierced his heart. Or perhaps it was just his conscience. She was blushing again.
Ah, well…it wasn‘t bed…‘
Where, then?‘
He was standing right in front of her now, close enough to see her pupils dilate and catch the sweet scent of her skin, the musky base note of sex that still clung to her body from last night. The towel around his waist suddenly seemed pitifully, dangerously inadequate.
The swimming pool,‘ she said huskily, looking straight into his eyes. She was still leaning back against the huge window, only now she didn‘t look tense, or cold, or shy. There was something very sensual about her tousled hair, the smudges of kohl beneath her eyes, her sweet, plump lips as she spoke.
You made me close my eyes and you took my hand.‘ She reached out and took his hand, lacing her fingers through his. And very gently you led me into the water, with all my clothes on, and you picked me up and held me against you.‘
Cristiano felt his fingers tighten reflexively around hers, echoing the rest of his body.
I had never felt anything like your strength,‘ she went on. Your certainty. It made me feel so safe. I wrapped my legs around you and very slowly you peeled off my wet clothes…‘
He closed his eyes. For a moment, a dizzying, disorientating moment, he thought he felt the warmth of the water against his skin, the smell of the chlorine, the weight of her in his arms. And then all of that was obliterated by the urgency of the moment. Of wanting her. Now.
The towel fell to the floor as he grasped her shoulders and pulled her into him.
A second later it was joined by the white shirt, and then, hoisting her up into his arms, he carried her back to the bed.