She ached, but her expression said she ached for him more.
I wanted to be the girl and wanted Joseph to be that man. I’d look up at him with the same longing and need she had. I felt it now. But I didn’t dare repost the clip. How on earth could I? He’d think I was a freak.
I slipped my laptop into my backpack just as my phone began to ring. My stomach did a flip-flop at the caller ID.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey.” Joseph’s voice made me feel warm, yet nervous. “How was your day?”
“Good,” I whispered. “And you?”
“Fine. Why are you whispering?”
It was silly, really. It was eleven at night and the place was a graveyard back here in the stacks. “I’m in a library.”
He chuckled. “Studying hard, little girl?”
“I’m done now, actually, but yeah.” I raised the volume of my voice to a hush. “There are less distraction here than at my place.”
“What were you working on? Cost analysis on hearing aids for cows?”
I zipped up my bag and felt myself smiling. “International economics.”
“Sounds riveting.” He paused. “I see you got my email.”
My throat constricted and I eked the word out. “Yeah.”
“I’m not sure you understood the goal of the assignment.”
I felt off-balance. How could that be possible? The good girl in me never underperformed. “I did exactly what you said.” I’d spent forever selecting the perfect clips.
“Yes. I asked you to post five and you did that, but I’m guessing they weren’t what you wanted to post.” His voice was soft and somehow still authoritative. “Either you were playing it safe, or they were what you thought I wanted to see.”
Holy shit, how did he know? I sat in the hard, wooden chair and stared at the shelves of books, unable to come up with a response or excuse.
“Tonight you’ll drink a glass of wine or two, and try again. This time you post for yourself.”
I honestly didn’t know if I could. After what we’d done, this felt surprisingly intimate, like giving Joseph an all-access pass to my fantasies, even the dark ones I shouldn’t have. I drew in a deep breath, struggling to communicate as I knew he wanted me to. “I’m nervous about that.”
“Why? Are you worried I’m going to judge you?”
“Yes.”
His voice grew heavy, like the phone was pressed closer to his face. “No, never. I chose which accounts to follow, so I have a good idea what’s showing up in the feed. Noemi, there’s nothing on there that I’m not into. Fuck, there’s hardly anything on there I haven?
?t already done.”
I pressed my knees together as the clip flashed in my mind, only it was Joseph’s hand tugging on the silver chain between my breasts.
“If you’re only into the tame stuff, that’s fine, but I don’t see that girl when we’re together. You’re holding back.”
“Maybe,” I whispered, although it had nothing to do with the environment, and everything to do with him.
“Let the alcohol help you take the edge off, and try again. I can give you anything you want, all you have to do is ask. Understood?”
It was a million degrees in this library. “Yes.”
“Good. Did you shave your pussy for me today?”