“We? I’m not interested,” he said, “in convincing you that you want to fuck me. I don’t do halfway. Either you do, or you don’t.” My mouth fell open, but coherent thought failed me. “Communicate. Tell me if you want to fuck.”
I cringed. “So romantic.”
“Romantic? I’m talking about screwing you in this cramped front seat, where the steering wheel’s going to be in the way, and it’ll probably be awkward as fuck. But I promise you, once we get started, neither one of us is going to mind.”
I was fairly certain he was right. Would he bark out commands the whole time, demanding I tell him every detail about how I liked it? Could he deliver on his promise when no other man had? I wanted to believe. A new wave of desire washed over me and left my mouth dry in its wake.
Joseph leaned toward me and softly curled his fingers under my chin, keeping my gaze tight on his. “I’m betting the good girl inside you is telling you to say no, but there’s a part of you that wants to say yes.”
My bottom lip twitched as he dragged his thumb lazily over it, then pushed it slowly into my mouth. Every inch of him was so sexual, even something as silly as slipping his thumb past my lips was erotic. He didn’t have to tell me what to do. I closed my lips and sucked gently, giving him the innuendo of what it would feel like if I went down on him.
His eyes flared with heat. “Who am I getting tonight, M? Do you want to be bad?”
I did, but twenty-three years of doing the right thing was hard to shrug off. My chest tightened painfully.
I couldn’t.
His thumb withdrew and he slid it down my neck slowly, leaving a damp trail in its path. Disappointment ringed his eyes, like he knew already. Joseph sighed and straightened, then put his seatbelt on. “Okay, good girl. Let’s get you back to that sheltered life.”
We barely spoke the rest of the drive, and the silence was so uncomfortable it was painful. Worse, the snow had grown heavier during the short time we were parked, and
we were both tense as the car slid through a stop sign.
As we neared my block, I lied. “This is my building, you can drop me at the front.”
“I can walk you.” His voice was tight, like he both did and didn’t want to say it.
“No, thank you, here is fine.”
On the steering wheel, his grip tightened as if irritated, but he pulled into the snowy loading zone and put the car in park. I had the seatbelt undone and a hand on the door when he touched my thigh.
“Your name.”
My breath caught in my throat. I felt like he deserved it. “Noemi.”
“No-em-ee,” he parroted back, no recognition of the name in his eyes. “Em.”
“Yes,” I uttered as he leaned over and took my lips with his.
This kiss was soft and restrained, as if he was kissing a girl goodbye after a date. My head spun. I’d made my choice, and while I didn’t like this kiss as much as his other one, I was grateful for this version. His hungry, demanding kiss from earlier would have been impossible to refuse.
I stood on the snowy curb and watched his black Porsche 911 pull off, taking the beautiful man away. I’d turned him down so I wouldn’t do something I’d regret, but a terrible thought flooded through me. You regret what you don’t do, more than what you’ve done.
For being wild tonight, I’d done a terrible job. The disappointment formed fast and snowballed.
Why the hell did I say no?
chapter
FOUR
JOSEPH
I could not stop thinking about the good girl I’d driven home last night and kissed goodbye like she was my fucking girlfriend. Who was she, and who did she turn me into? What would have happened if I’d gone slower to ease her in, or pushed harder? It fucked with my head.
I’d jerked off like a man on a mission when I got home, as if it could relieve the desire for her. Didn’t work both times, or this morning, either. I’d imagined her pink lips wrapped around my thumb just like she’d done in the car, only while she rode my cock into fucking oblivion. We’d have vanilla sex the first time, but then the sheltered girl wanted to try something new. Something dirty. I’d show her how good it felt.
Tonight Payton was managing the blindfold club. It gave me a second chance to go to Dune and talk to Alan about the fading covers, although it would be a challenge. Fridays were busier. I arrived early and appreciated the flustered look from the staff. I was hardly ever here, and two nights in a row? It’d start rumors that something was happening, and perhaps it should. I didn’t like any of my businesses struggling.