She lets go of her daughter and hugs Rafe.
“Thank you,” she says over and over, wiping tears on Rafe’s shirt.
When she pulls back, she notices me for the first time.
“Hi,” she says, giving me a wobbly smile. Her voice is friendly, though, and she shakes my hand. “I’m Luz.”
She’s just gotten off work, she’s clearly been worried about her daughter, and it’s nearly four in the morning, but Luz is beautiful. She looks a lot like Rafe. She’s tall and has the same strong, clean cheekbones and chin, and the same charmingly crowded teeth.
“Colin,” I say, feeling awkward as hell.
Her expression changes and she looks at me more carefully. “Well, aren’t you handsome,” she says, and I’d think she was flirting with me if she didn’t turn to Rafe and wink at him. Rafe snorts and I feel my face heat up.
Rafe’s expression turns immediately serious, and he focuses back on Cam, who is currently trying to tiptoe through the open apartment door while the adults are all distracted with each other. She freezes when she feels Rafe’s eyes on her and tries a smile.
“We’re going to talk later, Camille,” Rafe says. “After you’ve told your mother what happened.” Cam opens her mouth, but Rafe glares at her and she snaps it shut. “You and I are going to have a conversation about drugs.” He steps so close to her that she has to tilt her head way back to see him. “In case you’ve forgotten,” Rafe says, his voice gentler now, almost vulnerable, “I ended up in prison because of them.”
Camille looks ashamed, but before she can say anything, Rafe leans down and kisses her on the cheek.
“Always call me,” he tells her fiercely and kisses the top of her head before he pushes her inside.
He lets out a sigh and turns to Luz.
“Rafe, I—”
Rafe holds up a hand to stop her. He leans down and kisses her on the cheek too. “I can’t right now, sis. I love you.”
And he takes my hand and leads me away.
As we’re driving back to my place, Rafe leans his head back against the seat and closes his eyes.
“Thanks,” he breathes. When he turns to look at me, his eyes are warm.
“Man. I thought you were going to beat the crap out of that guy. He was so fucking scared of you he was practically shitting himself.”
“Yeah, well.” After a few minutes of silence, Rafe says, “I can’t get in fights. It’s, um, it’s what I went to prison for.”
“Wait. I thought you went to prison for drugs.” I realize, though, that Rafe’s never told me the story of what happened exactly.
“Yeah, well, I got in a fight because I was high.” He sounds so tired. “Bar fight. Idiotic. I was there with guys from the neighborhood. We were drunk, messing around like idiots. I was high so I thought we were hilarious.”
Every time Rafe talks about drugs, it’s like he’s forcing himself to say that he used them. I wonder if that’s an NA thing.
“There was a guy there. He was hitting on some girl who wasn’t interested and he was being a total jackass about it. Showing off for his friends. Embarrassing her.” He shakes his head. “Anyway, I threw the first punch. I don’t remember that much of the actual fight. But I… man, I hurt him really bad.”
Rafe runs both hands through his tangled hair. “He—I broke a bunch of ribs and one of them collapsed his lung. He had to get his spleen removed. Knocked out a few teeth. Broke his nose.” He’s reciting it like some horrible grocery list, his voice flat and choked, like he’s forcing the words out through sand. “Cracked his skull. Fuck.” His fists are clenched against his chest.
I pull up outside my house and turn off the car, turning to look at Rafe. He’s holding himself carefully, like he doesn’t trust himself not to bolt.
“Well, look,” I try, “he was acting the fool, got in a bar fight. You do that, you deserve what you get, right?”
When Rafe turns to me, he looks miserable. He shakes his head. “No. He didn’t deserve that. I was out of my mind, Colin. I was a fucking monster.”
I can tell he truly believes that. He’s pushed himself against the door, as far away from me as he can get. Clearly, he doesn’t want to be let off the hook.
“You served your time,” I say. “You quit using.”
For me, there’s nothing else to say. Rafe is the best man I’ve ever met, and finding out that he’s made mistakes… well, it doesn’t change that.
He pulls himself together and nods, but he doesn’t touch me as we walk inside.
“What was it like?” I ask, not sure he’ll answer. He hasn’t told me much about his time in prison. I know he doesn’t like to think about it.