“You’d tell me if you weren’t happy, right?” I asked him, running my hand across his chest.
“Where’s this coming from? I’ve never been happier in my life.”
“Just something Ry said earlier,” I explained. “He suggested you might struggle with the fact we come from different worlds.”
Alex sighed and it made me nervous. “I don’t like that I can’t treat you the same way you treat me. I can’t gift you fancy cars, take you to ridiculously expensive restaurants or fly you around the world. But…I’m learning to deal with it.”
“Alex,” I breathed, propping myself up on my elbow and positioning my face just inches from his. “I’ve had all those things for years, and you know what? They don’t mean anything when you’ve got nobody to share them with. Tonight, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and sleeping for free on a beach, has been one of the best nights of my life. I don’t need that stuff. I only need you. You’re everything to me, Alex, and no amount of money can buy that. Plus, fancy restaurants are too pretentious for my taste anyway. Give me a McDonald’s any day.”
“Now that I can do.” Alex smiled, and it was the most precious sight in the world. “So you intend for us to sleep here tonight? It’s just, I haven’t brought my meds or-”
“All taken care of.”
I still struggled to understand how in all the time I’d known Alex, all the times he’d stayed at my place, I’d never once noticed him take any medication. When I asked him why I’d never seen him he simply replied, “Because I didn’t want you to.” It stung to know he’d actively hidden it from me, but dwelling wouldn’t help us move forward. It was what happened from this point on that mattered and occasionally I needed to remind myself of that.
Goosebumps mottled Alex’s skin as I ran my hand up and down his arm. “You cold?”
“A little.”
Reaching down, I grabbed the corner of the blanket and pulled it up over our bodies. Draping one leg over his thigh, I snuggled closer.
“When we’ve warmed up,” Alex began, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. “There’re some strawberries calling my name out there.”
“Plenty of time for that.”
“Does that mean you have something else planned first?”
My pulse thudded in my throat and I diverted my gaze away from his eyes. If I looked at him I would’ve lost the courage to speak. “I was thinking it’s about time I find out what it feels like to have a dick in my mouth.”
Alex laughed, took my face in his hands and set a singular soft kiss on my lips. “Well…when you put it so romantically.”
I wasn’t sure there was a romantic way to ask someone if you could suck their dick.
“But remember, Matt, no pressure. We don’t have to do anything until you’re ready.”
“Oh, I’m ready,” I whispered, sneaking my hand under the blanket and resting my palm over his cock. Initially soft, it swelled beneath my fingers, twitching as it begged me to explore. “If not a little nervous that I’ll do it wrong.”
“You can’t do it wrong,” he assured, licking a trail along my jaw. “You touching me could never be wrong.”
My mouth found his and we’d kissed so many times now it felt like going home. I relaxed into him, exploring his mouth with my tongue and his cock with my hand. Blood continued to pool in my dick, any more and I was sure it would explode. “Fuck, Alex…”
“Do you have condoms?”
We’d been told that the risk of transmitting HIV through oral sex was low, next to nothing if he didn’t come in my mouth, but no one could provide a one hundred percent guarantee. We decided together that it wasn’t worth the risk, no matter how small. If we took the chance, the possibility of me getting infected would undoubtedly linger in our thoughts and taint the experience. When I took Alex in my mouth for the first time I wanted what I was doing to him, what I was making him feel, to be the only thing on his mind.
Breaking away from him, I rummaged through the backpack at the foot of our makeshift bed until I found the array of condoms and lube Ryder had bought.
“Cherry pie?” Alex noted, picking the box of assorted flavors from my hand.
“You want me to use that one?”
“It’s not me who’ll be tasting it.”
Oh, fuck. I closed my eyes, ashamed of the heat that illuminated my cheeks. I scanned my brain for memories and came up pretty sure I’d never blushed before in my entire life.
Alex caressed my beaming cheek with the back of his hand. “Look at me,” he asked. “Just kiss me, Matt. Stop thinking about it. Let instinct take over.”