“Tried,” he said, scrunching his nose in what looked like disgust. “Tasted like shit. Think I microwaved it too long.”
“You microwaved pasta?”
“How else are you supposed to do it? I’m not a total moron before you say anything. I put water in the bowl, but most of it ended up dryer than a nun’s pussy.”
“That’s it. I’m teaching you how to cook.”
“Oh yeah? You should know my mom already tried. Went in one ear and straight out the other.”
“That’s because you knew she’d keep your freezer stocked with her homemade meals. You didn’t need to learn then. Now, if you don’t want to starve to death, you do.”
Matt smiled; a sad smile that pulled on the corners of his eyes. “I still have a beef casserole in there. It’s the last one and…well I just can’t bring myself to eat it.”
I slapped Matt’s ankles, silently telling him to make room for me. He lifted his legs until I sat down and then draped them over my knee. “You’ll never stop missing her,” I said, stroking his leg from knee to ankle. “But it will get easier to live with.”
“I keep thinking I wish I’d told her how much I appreciated her, how much I loved her… instead of being a sarcastic ass all the time.”
“She knew,” I assured him. “She absolutely knew.”
“I still need to sort through her things, empty her house. Ashley keeps asking if she can borrow Mom’s photo albums and I can’t hold her off forever.”
“We’ll do it together. Whenever you’re ready.”
“I keep hoping she’ll drop the baby and it’ll make her forget about the damn photos for a while.”
“She’s due soon, right?”
“Friday, I think. I’m happy for her, just not overly looking forward to seeing Asshat Adam again.”
“You should invite her over, or take her to lunch, just the two of you, before the baby’s born.”
“Yeah. I’ve not spoken to her in person since Mom’s funeral, and whenever she calls I know Adam’s with her.”
“You need to make time for her. She’s family.”
“My only family now.”
I was about to lean over and hug him, console him, when the security monitor buzzed. Immediately, Matt shot into a sitting position while I stood up and walked over to the screen.
“Think your doc is here.”
Matt joined me at the other side of the room, nodding when he saw the car approaching. I pressed the button to open the gates and Matt combed his hair back with his fingers.
“I’m nervous,” he muttered, his words rushed and flustered. “Why am I so fucking nervous?”
Anchoring my hands on Matt’s hips, I pulled him closer to me, looking straight into his eyes. “Because you’re about to make one of the biggest decisions of your life.”
“No, I’m not,” he said, shaking his head defiantly. “I’ve already made it.”
My heart swelled in my chest as I pressed my lips to his. There was no hesitancy in his kiss. He devoured my mouth like a starving man eating his first meal in months. Blood pooled in my dick, making me groan in frustration when the buzzer sounded again and I had to pull away. Resting his forehead on mine, Matt exhaled a deep sigh, kissed my cheek and then headed for the door. I made my way to the couch, rearranging my junk along the way and hoping it calmed the hell down before Matt and his doctor walked into the room.
Matt entered first, outstretching his arm and offering a seat on the bigger couch for Dr. Wilson. Matt joined me on the smaller couch opposite before introducing us. The doctor reached across the coffee table, proffering his hand, which I shook while offering a weak “Hi.”
“So, Mr. Carter. What can I help you with today?” he asked, setting his briefcase down on the floor in front of him. He looked like a typical old school doctor – the kind you see on TV; older guy, balding, tweed jacket and thick-rimmed glasses.
“I want to talk to you about starting PrEP,” Matt stated without a flinch.
“Okay,” the doctor replied with a hint of surprise in his voice. “I take it you’re in a relationship with a woman who’s tested positive for HIV?”
I’m not sure why, but part of me expected Matt to take the easy route and agree. I mentally scolded myself, pride ballooning in my chest, when Matt immediately replied, “No. I’m in a relationship with Alex.”
Matt looked at me, his eyes piercing mine as he smiled.
“And you’re HIV positive, Alex?”
I could almost see the battle occurring in Dr. Wilson’s head as he fought to remain professional and non-judgmental. Not because I thought he was a homophobe, but because I’d have challenged anyone not to be utterly stunned to learn Matt Carter, renowned womanizer and serial man-whore, was in a relationship with another man. Hell, even I still struggled to wrap my head around it. “Yes. I was diagnosed six years ago.”