I just didn’t know how.
“You don’t need to look quite so terrified.” Alex winked. “Maybe I’ll take you on a date instead. Show you how it’s done.”
“Hey, you want a date? I’ll give you a fucking date,” I protested, my own stubbornness getting the better of me. Can’t be that difficult. “We really need to help Ryder out at the club this week,” I began, both because it was true, and also because, being a dating virgin, I needed time to plan a special evening for him.
“I’m sorry I abandoned you,” Alex cut in, guilt forming creases on his forehead.
“No going back, Alex.” I cupped his cheek with one hand, staring straight into his eyes. “We can’t change the past couple of weeks, but we can decide what happens next.”
“So…what happens next? What do you see for us, Matt?”
“Firstly, although there’s no point dwelling on the fact you dropped me in deep shit trying to manage a business I’ve no experience with, you should know if you do it again I’ll sever your balls and soak the wound in vinegar…”
Alex winced. “Jesus. Hell hath no fury like a drummer scorned, huh.”
“Secondly,” I continued, ignoring his dramatics. “One week today. Seven PM. Be ready. I’m taking you on a date.” I had no idea where yet but I would figure it out, probably with a little help and inspiration from Sawyer.
Planning a date had never blipped on my radar before, but this was different. Alex was different. So many things had happened to change my life recently – losing the band, my mom, my friends growing up and settling down – but it’d been Alex who’d changed me as a person. He made me want to be a better man. He’d been my go-to guy for so long, supported me through everything and dealt with my copious amounts of bullshit. I needed him to know that I was there for him, too, that I could be the man he deserved. I wanted to be his go-to guy and I would spend the rest of my life proving myself to him if I had to.
“We can have a date here,” Alex suggested, snapping me from my thoughts. “If we go somewhere public the-”
“Whole world will know about us within minutes?” I finished for him. He nodded. “So fucking what.”
“Well… aren’t you supposed to…I don’t know, ask for your manager’s approval or something before you announce any kind of news?”
I shrugged, cocking my head to the side. “I don’t need to worry about that since Souls split. Not that I ever bothered before. I’m pretty sure I made Claire’s, our manager’s, life a living hell. I’ve never been very good at saying the ‘right’ things. Thoughts just seem to come into my head and topple straight outta my mouth. I can’t help it.”
Alex looked unsure. “Once it’s out there you can’t take it back. You need to think about this. It’s such a big thing.”
“I’ve done nothing but think about it. I’m tired of thinking. I’d rather just do,” I said, molding my lips into a devilish smirk.
“But it’s a-”
“Big thing?” Alex rolled his eyes as I plucked the words out of his mouth. “It is. For me. For us. It doesn’t concern anyone else.”
“That won’t stop them having an opinion.”
“Let them,” I breathed, inching closer to him until our chests were pressed together. His warm breath blanketed my face, making my dick stir. “The only opinion I’m interested in is yours.”
“And your family? Friends?” Alex asked, his words barely a whisper as I kissed along his jaw.
I peeled my lips from his skin. “If they love me they’ll support me. Besides, since Saw came out most of my friends seem to be gay these days. I swear the dude is some kind of cock-jockey magnet.”
“You’re really quite amazing, you know?”
“Yes, I do,” I replied with a serious expression. Alex shoved me gently in the shoulder before rolling onto his back, laughing. His head flopped to the side so he faced me and I blew away the rogue curl that obscured his eye. “How did it take me so long to notice how fucking hot you are?”
“You think I’m hot?”
Grabbing Alex’s hand, I guided it toward my erection and wrapped his fingers around the base. It jerked under his touch, causing a proud smile to spread across his face. “What do you think?” I said, groaning as I thrust softly in and out of his firm grip.
As I began to fuck his hand I plunged my tongue into his mouth, fisting his hair with one hand and feeling his hard body with the other. My fingers ached to touch his cock and I paused for just a second while I swallowed the flurry of nerves clogging my throat. I always wondered if it would feel weird, unnatural even. If putting my fantasy into action would prove that it was just that. A fantasy. A dream. But as I snuck my fingers into the waistband of his briefs and circled the tip of his hard cock with my thumb, nothing had ever felt so absolutely right in my life.