“Jesus, Matt,” I thought I heard Alex mutter beside me. I ignored him…and the handful of gasps too.
“People often ask if Kip is like a brother to me. I actually see myself more like a father to him. I mean I’ve seen him sucking on nipples, stagger around the place naked, and helped him undress after cleaning up his vomit. But regardless of that, I fucking love this man right here,” I continued, pointing to Kip. “I went straight from school into one of the biggest bands in the fucking world. Life was crazy, and I wouldn’t have been able to get through it without Kip and the rest of the guys. They’re my family.” I turned to Kip. “You’re my family, man. And so is Elle.”
I glanced toward her. “Elle, Kip is one lucky bastard to have snared you. You’re fucking beautiful, inside and out. If I’m honest I’m kinda surprised you didn’t choose me. I can make women scream way louder than he does.”
“Okay, thank you, Matt,” Alex said, tugging on my elbow.
“Hey, I’m not finished!” He rolled his eyes at me but I carried on. “Anyway, I guess all I wanted to say is, congratulations, you guys. May you live a long, happy life together, filled with good sex and laughter.” Raising my glass, I sang, “To Kip and Elle!”
People clapped before raising their glasses, repeating my toast. See? They liked it, I thought while snickering at Alex. Sawyer gave a speech next which personally I thought was way less entertaining than my own. Kip’s dad followed, then Gavin, and finally Kip said a few words of his own while not once taking his eyes off Elle. It was mushy as fuck but again it panged in my chest. When we moved back into the ballroom for the party I found myself watching all my band mates and their respective partners.
It didn’t seem so long ago we were all on the road together, making music, getting wasted and sleeping with different women every single night. Yet now here they were, in love. Settled. Starting a new chapter in life. Whereas me, I was still trying to relive that same old chapter, only now the pages were starting to blur.
“Hey,” Dana, Darren’s wife, said while nudging my shoulder. I was sitting in the corner watching everyone dance and celebrate. “Could you take Rosie while I go to the bathroom? I can’t find Darren anywhere.” It was great catching up with Daz and Gavin. We didn’t get to spend much time together since the band split with them living in different corners of the country.
“Um…”
“She’s two months old, Matt. She won’t hurt you.”
“Uh, sure, okay,” I said, reaching out uncertainly to take the baby. As I took baby Rosie in my arms I decided to consider myself lucky she didn’t ask me to watch Poppy, their older daughter, instead. Poppy could walk, so at least Rosie couldn’t escape on me.
When Dana disappeared, I continued to hold Rosie with outstretched arms and I just stared at her, wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do with it.
“Um, hey, little girl.” I smiled awkwardly as I spoke and then I felt her tiny body vibrating in my hands. “Oh shit. No, no, shhh. Don’t cry.” Fuck. Not knowing what else to do, I started singing Always by Bon Jovi to her. I don’t think she liked it, given that I was barely into the chorus when she started screaming so loud I thought her bright red face was going to burst.
“You okay?”
“Alex, thank fuck. Help me! It won’t shut up. I think I broke it.”
Alex sat down beside me and scooped Rosie into his arms. He brought her into his chest, cradling her like he actually knew what he was doing. “There we go,” he whispered, rocking her gently from side to side. Amazingly, she stopped crying. “Were you giving your Uncle Matt trouble, huh, princess?”
“Okay. How the fuck did you do that?”
“You were dangling her in the air. She was probably terrified,” Alex said, smiling down at Rosie.
“Well Dana didn’t tell me I needed to hold her like that,” I protested, picking up my empty glass from the table. “I need a refill. Want one?”
“No thanks.”
Shrugging, I stood up and made my way to the bar. I planned to stay there for the rest of the night.
“Matt?”
I heard my name but convinced myself it was part of the dream I was having.
“Matt?” My shoulders being shaken was harder to ignore. Peeling my eyes open, I saw Alex hovering over me. “Come on, buddy. Time to go.”
“Ugh,” I grumbled, squinting. I glanced around the room to see I was lying in a crumpled heap on the edge of the dance floor. Apart from a couple of mumbling old ladies, we were the only ones left. “What time is it?”