It was the next morning before I woke up – the first uninterrupted night’s sleep I’d had since the night before I was arrested. When I first opened my eyes I wondered how I’d missed the wake-up bell, but then remembered where I was when Mason’s arm tightened around my waist. He looked up at me from under his lashes and smiled, squeezing me a little harder and loosening the ties bound tightly around my heart. The next few days were going to be hard. Seeing people, talking to them, telling them what happened. But still, with Mason so close to my side, I had hope I could get through it relatively unscathed.
“About the cuts on your leg,” Mason began, causing me to grimace in shame. “I think they’re getting infected. I don’t know what you used to do it but I’m guessing it wasn’t clean?”
“Um, no. Probably not. But it’ll be fine in a few days.”
“You need to see a doctor.”
“No,” I said firmly.
“This isn’t a discussion, Ry. You’re seeing a doctor. I have felt so fucking helpless lately. I wanted so badly to be with you, to hold you, take care of you, but I couldn’t. But I’m here now and I will take care of you whether you want me to or not.”
“Fine, fine,” I agreed begrudgingly. “We’d best get up and ready for the day,” I added, changing the topic abruptly.
First stop after showering and changing was seeing Sawyer for the first time since it happened. I should’ve known better than to be nervous about seeing him – he was one of my best friends. He didn’t press me, didn’t push, simply wrapped his arms around me and patted my back before getting back to his breakfast. Jake unsurprisingly gave me a nod and a slight, barely-there smile, and honestly, that meant the world to me.
What proved to be the hardest part of the day was reuniting with Ivan. He was a lot more vocal than Sawyer and Jake, but he was also like a father, definitely more so than my own, to me so I didn’t mind opening up to him, as much as a struggle as I found it. This was the conversation where I found out Gio and Taylor who flew out with us didn’t know anything, and that a story about me being sick had been fabricated, so I went with it. The fact I looked like shit that had been pulled through a hedge and rolled in soil backed up the lie perfectly, and soon enough they were goofing around as if nothing was wrong with the world. I needed that more than I thought I did. Normality. Laughter.
“Are you ready to fly home tonight?” Sawyer asked, sipping a bottle of water at the other side of the room in Ivan’s hotel suite.
“Tonight?”
“We didn’t think you’d want to hang around. But we can change it if you’re not ready.”
“No, no I am. Just didn’t realize you could schedule a flight so quickly I guess.”
“You can do anything for the right price.” Mason chuckled, dragging a smile from Jake that left me feeling like I was missing out on some hidden joke.
“Elle is so desperate to see you,” Sawyer said, the sound of her name making me smile.
“So am I. Bet she’s ready to kick my arse though.”
“Probably,” Sawyer agreed, laughing a little. “Well you guys should go and pack up your things. Jake and I have a few things to sort out too, so we’ll meet you in the hotel lobby at three-ish?”
“Three. No ‘ish’,” Jake interrupted.
“Three,” I repeated. “Got it.”
On that note, Mason and I said our goodbyes, both receiving a tight hug from Ivan and Eli, who’d remained fairly quiet throughout the entire conversation. We had several hours to kill, and it only took us one to pack up our things.
“I never did show you the sights,” I said, staring mournfully out of the window and looking over the center of London and all its traffic.
“Maybe another time,” Mason said, coming up behind me and curling his hands around my waist. “Ryder, can you do something for me when we get home?”
“Um, like what?” I asked curiously.
“I’m here for you, you know that. I’ll be here to listen whenever you need to and I’ll help you in any way I can.”
“But?”
“But…You have so many demons inside you, Ry, and I don’t know how to help you with those. I wish I did, and I want to, but I need someone to show me how, and so do you. I want you to get some help. Talk to a therapist. And please don’t see that as me giving up or passing your problems onto someone else.”
“I will,” I resolved. “I’ll do it. At least I’ll try. I don’t know how easy it would be for me to actually talk to a stranger. I can barely talk to you.”