“I’m done thinking about it. I’m ready. I love you.”
“So, you’re going to release an official statement?”
“I kinda think that ship’s already sailed,” I admitted, not feeling an ounce of shame or regret. “I meant it when I said the thought of losing you almost killed me, Jake. After my reaction at the scene, there’s no way the entire world doesn’t know by now.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“Yeah. I really am.”
“Come here,” he said, gingerly raising his arm. Smiling, I crawled up onto the bed next to him, squeezing myself into the tiny portion of free space.
“I don’t want you to be my bodyguard anymore,” I confessed, draping my arm over his hips, careful not to apply too much pressure.
“That’s not an option, Sawyer.”
“And this isn’t your choice. I’m serious. You’re not going to protect me anymore. I can’t risk this happening again. Ever.”
“And what am I supposed to do with my life? This is what I’m trained to do. It’s all I know. Besides, as soon as we catch this bastard-”
“They’ve got him,” I interrupted, cursing myself for not telling him sooner. “They caught him running from the scene.”
“Thank fuck…” he breathed, sighing against my head.
“It was Jerry.”
“Jerry?”
“My stepfather.”
“You’re fucking kidding me?” he snapped, jerking his body back and then wincing from the pain.
“Hey, don’t move. I need you better.”
“I just…it doesn’t…why?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “He wants to meet with me apparently.”
“You’re not going to though,” he said firmly. “Sawyer, you’re not going to, right?” he repeated, sensing the uncertainty in my expression. “He tried to kill you!”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I just feel l need an explanation.”
“And Laurelin? Why were they carting her away before it happened?”
“She’s been sleeping with him. Apparently only took this job to get closer to me, get inside info on where I’d be. Really, I think that hurts the most. I mean, it’s Laurelin. She’s been a good friend to me for so long. At least, I thought she was.”
“It doesn’t make any sense,” Jake said, looking as confused as I felt.
“That’s why I need to talk to him. I need to know why.”
“I’m not happy about it.”
“He can’t hurt me, Jake. There will be an officer with me.”
“Well don’t rush into it. Promise me you’ll really think about this first.”
“I will. I promise.” I leaned up, brushing my lips against his while tracing his soft stubble with my thumb.
“Have you spoken to Elle?”
“No. Not spoke to anybody yet. Claire said she’d call her though.”
“You should go back to the hotel. Call her. She’ll be worried sick.”
“I don’t want to leave you.”
“Baby, I love you, but you stink. Your clothes are covered in blood and dirt and that after-show glow you get has morphed into full on mouldy sweat. Go back, take a shower. Come back when it’s daylight.”
A light knock on the door interrupted us and I jumped quickly off the mattress, assuming I wasn’t technically allowed to hop in bed with a patient.
“Hey, Kip,” I said, breathing a slight sigh of relief.
“How you feeling, mate?” he asked Jake after nodding at me in silent greeting.
“Like I’ve been shot.”
“Your parents are here. Nurse said they can only visit for a few minutes, then they’re booting us all out.”
“Thanks, Isaac. You can send them in.” When Kip left the room, Jake turned his gaze back to me. “Go, Sawyer. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“I’ll be back first thing,” I reluctantly agreed, sighing despondently. I bent down, kissing the top of his forehead and breathing him in. “I love you.”
“I love you, too,” he answered. “Always will.”
Claire was still at the hospital, waiting for me when I left Jake’s room. I rolled my eyes, facing away so she couldn’t see. On my way over to her I passed Jake’s parents, giving his mum a brief hug and assuring her that Jake was okay. Claire was up in my face the second they disappeared down the corridor.
“I hope you’re prepared for what’s out there,” she said, nodding towards the automatic glass doors.
“Press?”
“More than you’ve ever seen in your life.”
“Fine,” I said, drawing in a deep breath. “Let’s just get this over with.” I started walking forwards but she pulled me back by my sleeve.
“Say nothing. Don’t respond to them. Look down, don’t acknowledge them and Neil will get you to a car.”
“I know the drill, Claire,” I muttered, exasperated. I noticed Mal sitting in the corner of the waiting area with Kip in that moment. Claire summoned them both with her finger and they headed over to join us.
“You ready?” Neil asked, patting my back.
No.
“Sure.”
I had no idea what time it was, likely almost morning. Standing tall and dragging in a deep gulp of air, I stepped up to the automatic doors, looking straight ahead.
“SAWYER! ARE YOU REALLY GAY?”
“DO YOU LOVE HIM?”
“SO THE RUMOURS WERE TRUE?”
“SAWYER! SAWYER!”
“ARE YOU PLANNING TO MARRY HIM?”
“IS IT SERIOUS?”
“DOES HE LOVE YOU?”
Head down. Walk. Head down. Walk. I repeated the mantra in my head, trying to block out the incessant questions and flashes of light. When I reached the car Neil stretched his arms out, keeping a wedge between the press and myself. He closed the door behind me once I was inside and I noticed Kip was already sitting to the right of me.
“Fucking crazy out there, mate,” he said, weighing up the crowd through the blacked-out windows.
“Tell me about it.”
“It’ll pass. You’re doing the right thing you know. You shouldn’t have to hide who you are.”
“Don’t exactly have much of a choice, do I? Not after the way I fell apart outside the stadium.”
“And if you had a choice? Would it be different?”
“No,” I answered determinedly. “It’s time.”
Neil hurried around to the front passenger seat, slamming the door behind him. Once inside he announced that Mal was following behind with Claire, and also that we had more press waiting for us outside the hotel.
The fact that I was prepared for it didn’t make bustling our way through the sea of reporters and photographers any easier. The same inane questions were being yelled at me from every angle, lights blinded me, people pushed into me. When I reached the hotel lobby I immediately backed up against a wall and sighed, rubbing my hands down my face.