Neil and I, supplemented with additional stadium security controlled the crowd as they made their way through the gates and to their seats. I’d made a conscious effort to stay out of Sawyer’s way, but still my mind kept wandering to what he might be wearing. I imagined, as usual when he’s on stage, he’d be donning ripped jeans and a tight-fitting t-shirt that clung to his tattooed biceps. The thought alone was sending my body haywire and it only confirmed the fact I was better off keeping to the back of the stage. It was going to be hard enough being able to hear that delicious and compelling voice of his through the speakers.
The show appeared to be going by without a hitch, but I wouldn’t relax until all five guys were back at the hotel. As rearranged, Mal and I swapped positions for the last three songs of the set. I stood in front of the stage, just off to the left in front of the barriers. The Australian heat mixed with the floodlights coming from above made me uncomfortable and I mopped my brow with a tissue from my suit pocket, looking forward to getting in the car and being able to shrug out of my jacket.
The set came to a close, and when the encore did too I started to wonder why Sawyer wanted me to stand here. Until he spoke…
“Okay, guys,” he called to the crowd. “I have something new I want to play for you all. I only wrote it last week so you guys are the first to hear it.” The crowd went crazy – screaming, cheering and stamping their feet. “Hope you enjoy it.”
The rest of the guys, apart from Isaac, looked at each other with a confused look on their faces. Then Sawyer nodded in Isaac’s direction and when he hovered his fingers over the keyboard, ready to play, I knew he was a part of whatever was about to happen. Closing his eyes, Sawyer started strumming his long fingers against the strings of his guitar. The intro was slow, seductive almost, and then came the most precious sound in the world.
He started singing.
I pushed you aside so I could live my life,
But without you isn’t living, I have been so blind
I’m trying to find the words I know you want to hear,
But the truth is, I’m still drowning in a giant pool of fear
It’s taken so long and I’m still not strong,
I can’t tell you how I feel, so I put it in a song,
You saved me, you loved me, showed me who I am,
So forever if you’ll let me, I will be your man
You are everything I wanted but I couldn’t admit,
You brought me back to life with just one kiss,
I wish I’d known it sooner, hadn’t been so weak,
But know I’ve always loved you,
You make me complete
I remember the feel of your body against mine,
But I pushed you away, refused to give it time
I was young, I was scared, didn’t know who I was,
I should’ve looked for answers but instead, I gave up
You are everything I wanted but I couldn’t admit,
You brought me back to life with just one kiss,
I wish I’d known it sooner, hadn’t been so weak,
But know I’ve always loved you,
You make me complete
My heart felt swollen and I pressed a hand to my chest, trying to alleviate the sudden ache. He’d never been able to truly express how he felt, not in words, but this song… this song he’d written just for me, told me everything I needed so desperately to know. The guys disbanded from the stage and I had to pull myself together as I jogged around the back to meet them.
When I got there, the scene unfolding instantaneously put me on high alert.
“What the hell is going on?” I barked at Claire, watching in utter disbelief as Laurelin was handcuffed and escorted to a police car by two uniformed officers.
“I don’t have time to explain. We need to get the guys out of here. Now.”
“What the fuck?” I grumbled to myself, rushing to the back of the stage where the guys were making their way down the steel steps. Within seconds the area surrounding us was flooded with police cars. “Guys hurry the fuck up. We have to leave.”
“What’s going on?” Sawyer asked, his face paling in panic.
“I don’t know,” I was forced to admit. How was I supposed to protect them when I didn’t have a clue what was happening? “The cops have taken Laurelin away.”
“Laurelin?”
I didn’t have time to elaborate, not that I even could. Neil and Damien, another new recruit, escorted the guys to their cars. Sawyer and I sprinted behind them, until I saw a shadow in the distance that I recognised immediately. It was a silhouette of a man with what appeared to be a 9mm pointing in Sawyer’s direction. Without a second’s hesitation I jumped in front of Sawyer’s body, everything slowing down the moment the gun sounded.
People screamed, I think. Somehow I’d fallen to the floor without conscious memory of how it happened. I felt pressure in my chest, but no pain, despite the blood I could see starting to soak through my white shirt when I looked down. I searched for Sawyer’s eyes, but something black blocked my view. It blocked everything – there was nothing but heavy darkness no matter which direction I looked. As my lungs began to burn, as if I were inhaling shards of glass, the sounds started fading too. People stopped screaming, police stopped yelling.
There was nothing.
Chapter Seventeen
“No no no! Oh please, God, no!” I cried, dropping to my knees beside Jake. “Jake, please, baby, wake up. Oh fuck, please wake up!”
“Don’t move him!” one of the police men called out. “You need to get out of the area. Now!” they ordered from afar. There were tens of them now. I don’t know what they were doing, I didn’t care. I also didn’t listen to them.
“Come, on, Saw!” Kip yelled.