“Jake!”
“Fuck!” I growled, grabbing Jake’s hands and shoving him off me when I heard Laurelin’s voice on the other side of his door. “What the hell is she doing here so early? Shit!”
“Calm down,” Jake tried to soothe, but when he put his hand on my shoulder I flinched, shrugging away from him. “Sawyer,” he added firmly. “You could be in my room for any number of reasons. I’m your goddamn bodyguard! Stop worrying!”
“At least get dressed before you let her in.”
Rolling his eyes, he headed to the closet and quickly pulled on a pair of sweats and a hooded top. I gaped at him for a little longer than I should. Since he’d been back I’d only seen him in suits and business attire. He looked great dressed so casually – younger, more carefree.
“Put the kettle on. I’ll just tell her we’re discussing arrangements for the tour bus this evening,” Jake said, amazingly calm and collected – like he always is. I admire that about him. Nodding, I bent down to drag on my shoes and then headed over to the kitchenette area. I was surprised to see the surfaces looking used. Mine is pristine – untouched. Same goes for the rest of the guys, seeing as we take the easier option of ordering room service for absolutely everything.
“Today’s papers,” Laurelin snapped, strolling straight into the living area. “There’s another story. People are talk- Oh…” she cut herself off, noticing me spooning coffee into the two mugs set out on the counter. “Sawyer,” she added, blood rushing to her face when she realised her mistake.
Instantly, I was reminded why I actually came here last night. Jake had completely captivated me, forcing me to forget everything that existed outside of his arms. The rumours. The press. The fucking gossip that no one would tell me about.
“That’s why I’m here,” I stated, giving up on making coffee and striding into the living room. “To find out what shit is being dished out by the press, and more importantly, why the fuck no one has told me about it.”
“It’s not a big deal,” Laurelin tried to appease. “You know better than to read the papers.”
“Don’t bullshit me, Lin. If it wasn’t a big deal you wouldn’t be here right now. Whatever’s going on must be holding some weight and I want…no I deserve to know what it is.”
“I’m not really sure. I’m only the messenger. You should talk to Claire.”
“I tell you what, you go and talk to Claire and tell her to get her backside to my room before breakfast.”
“Okay,” she agreed, blushing with apprehension. Laurelin didn’t like being put on the spot, or me being mad at her. I would apologise later. Right now, I was too pissed off. “I’ll call her, see if she’s awake.”
“You do that,” I said acidly, running my fingers through my messy hair. With that, she turned on her heels and scuttled out of Jake’s room.
“Bit harsh don’t you think?” Jake murmured the second she closed the door.
“What’s going on, Jake? And please, don’t you lie to me too.”
“You know I wouldn’t,” he said genuinely, reaching out to take my hand. Instinctively, my arm twitched in an attempt to shrug away from him, but his fingers brushed mine and I melted into his touch. “There have been several stories lately. A few blokes coming out of the woodwork and selling stories about their… relationships…with you.”
“WHAT? I’ve never had a fucking relationship! How many guys are we talking about here?”
“Four so far.”
“Well that’s bullshit! I’ve never been with…” Fuck this was hard, and yet I was only talking to Jake. How the fuck was I supposed to confront this shit with anyone else? With management? With the press? “There were never that many,” I tacked on with a heavy sigh.
“You know how it works, baby…” Baby…a simple term of endearment I’d been called countless times before, yet for some reason, hearing it from Jake’s mouth made my chest tingle. “Someone sees a story, figures it probably paid out well for whoever sold it, and they jump on the bandwagon. They’ve probably never even met you. But you have lawyers for this kind of stuff, remember? Try and ignore it. It will blow over, I promise you,” he assured, squeezing my hand as he brought it up to his lips. He planted featherlike kisses on each one of my knuckles and it almost brought me to my knees.
“What are we doing, Jake?” There were a thousand different meanings to my question.
“We’re taking it one day at a time. No pressure. Just enjoy us, Sawyer.”
“You could lose your job if anyone found out, and I couldn’t stop it. They’d say you couldn’t protect someone you had an emotional attachment to efficiently. They’d think…”
“I will never let anything happen to you. I can and I will protect you.”
“I’m… fuck I don’t know what I am anymore.”
“Hey,” he said softly, snaking his arms around my waist and pulling my body into his. “You’re afraid. I know you probably can’t imagine it but I’ve been where you are right now. For years you’ve been living the only way you knew how, the way you thought you should be… and now I’ve come back into your life and turned your whole world upside in just a couple of days. It’s okay to be unsure, to feel scared… but promise me when it feels like it’s getting too much, you’ll come to me – even if it’s me that’s causing you to feel like this.”
Angling my head back, I closed my eyes and forced out a breath.
“Promise me, Sawyer,” he demanded, sliding his hands up my arms and squeezing my shoulders firmly. “Promise me you won’t try and work whatever’s going on in your head out alone. Whenever you do that, you only end up pushing me away. I can’t do that again, I’ve waited too long for this.”
“You’re serious aren’t you? When you say you’ve never stopped thinking about me?”
“Yes,” he breathed without hesitation. Then he brought a palm to my cheek and my head involuntarily snuggled into him. “Not one day has gone by where I haven’t thought about you… wanted you… needed you. The closest I could get was to follow your career, and it comforted and tortured me in equal measures.”