I walked her to the door, seemed like the least I could do, and of course Jake was standing right outside. He probably heard everything. Funny, because that was my intention, yet now, looking into his blue eyes that seemed to run deeper than the ocean, I just felt like a prick.
Candi waltzed off down the grand corridor without so much as a goodbye. Jakes eyes wandered after her for a short second before switching to me.
“Was she for my benefit or yours?”
“Don’t start, Jake.”
“Feel better?” he asked condescendingly as if he knew exactly why I brought her here. His confidence never faltered, and it intrigued me. He was never so sure of himself back in school. More often than not he was happy to just follow me around like a lost puppy. Was this an act? Or did I really just not know him anymore?
“Can you arrange for a driver to take me to see my mother tonight?” I asked, ignoring his question. If Candi didn’t work, maybe some good old-fashioned preaching would.
“Shouldn’t be a problem. Does she still live on the Mount Hill estate?”
“You remember?”
“Of course I remember. I haven’t forgotten a single thing about you, Sawyer.”
“Umm, well… yes she does,” I choked out, feeling a little breathless all of a sudden. “I’d like to go around seven – it will be dark then.”
Spring is almost over and as usual I will miss it. I like the dark nights; they make it a little easier to live unnoticed – to hide.
“Neil and I will take you.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” I said, and immediately felt like a jackass.
“As you wish.” I was going to take back my ridiculous comment but he spoke before I could continue. “I’ll send Jim for you instead.”
“Uh, sure. Thanks. Um, that’ll be all,” I added, again feeling like an utter douchebag. ‘That’ll be all’… what the fuck was I saying?
“I’ll just run along then shall I?” he teased with a wicked grin that dove straight to my cock.
“Sorry. Long day. Catch you later.”
“Wait…” Jake grabbed my forearm, pulling me back as I tried to retreat into my room. “We should talk about what happened earlier.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. It shouldn’t have happened.”
“We both know that’s not true,” he countered, his voice deepening as his body started closing in on me.
"You need to stop this, Jake. It's not going to happen. I'm not... like you. I'm straight."
"So is spaghetti until it gets hot," he whispered against my neck. Then he nibbled gently along the tender flesh, his coarse stubble grating against my own, and everything I've ever forced myself to believe started disappearing against my will. His presence affected me more than I liked or wanted and I needed to get away from him before I became incapable of coherent thought.
“You need to forget this afternoon,” I said, immediately wanting to punch myself in the balls for allowing my voice to crack. “It will not happen again.”
Then, shoving him away, I stormed back into my room and slammed the door behind me.
Jim knocked on my suite door bang on time. Pulling on a shirt after finishing some push ups, I answered immediately, as usual feeling the need to hurry up and get my time with my mother over with.
“Neil’s downstairs. We’re taking Sayid too, there’re crowds front and back of the building.”
“Press or fans?”
“Both.”
Nodding in understanding, I hooked my jacket onto my finger and threw it over my shoulder. We decided to go through the main hotel entrance seeing as there were crowds at both exits anyway. The sound of camera shutters flooded the air before I’d even fully stepped out of the revolving doors. I’ve learned to tune out the sound over the years, and I also learned quite early on that if you look towards the ground while surrounded by the press, you don’t get blinded by the incessant flashes…but I don’t think it would ever be possible to ignore the screams and chants of excited fans. Not that I’d want to – I wouldn’t be where I am today without their passion and support.
“SAWYER! SAWYER!”
“SAWYER, OVER HERE!” Girls yelled and sang my name, bouncing up and down and trying to reach out to me. I stopped by a couple of them, draping my arms around them while their friends took pictures on their phones.
“OMG I love you! Thank you so much!”
“I love you, too! All of you!” The reaction to my voice never failed to overwhelm me – especially when some girls literally cried.
“Sawyer, is it true you’re dating Elle Wilson?” The waiting journalists and photographers didn’t waste any time calling my name either.
“Are you glad to be back in the UK?”
“Sawyer, do you want to address the rumours about your sexuality?”
“What rumours?” I snapped, going against everything I’ve been trained to do and immediately wanting to punch myself in the head for not ignoring them.
“That’s enough for today, guys,” Jim intercepted, putting one hand on the small of my back and slowly pushing us through the crowd towards the waiting car.
“SAWYER!” they continued to yell. “Have you seen today’s article in The Sun? Want to respond?”
Jim covered my body with his while I slid into the back seat of the car, and the second the door closed next to me, the most welcome silence descended.
“What article?” I barked when Jim climbed in the other side.
“We’re heading round the back where it’s gated off to switch cars. Should make sure we’re not followed.”
“Jim? What fucking article!”
“I dunno, mate,” he said, sighing. “You need to ask Claire.”
“I’m asking you.”
“If Claire kicks my arse for telling you this I’m saying you forced me.”
“Fine by me. Hell, tell her I had you by the throat if you want. She doesn’t scare me, dude.”
“Apparently some guy has sold a story saying you two had a… thing… going on between you in college.”
“What the fuck?”
“Hey, come on, mate… you know the press is full of this shit. If you make a big deal out of it they’ll just assume it’s true. We all know it’s not, so don’t beat yourself up about it.”