God he felt so good – even better than I’d imagined. I’d dreamt of this moment so many times, too many to count, and when I felt him push deeper into my mouth, my knees almost gave way.
“Fuck…Jake…” If I didn’t have my lips curled so tightly against his rigid dick I would’ve smiled knowing I was pleasing him so much. Taking it a step further, I removed my hand from his balls and slid one of my fingers inside my mouth along with his throbbing erection.
After gathering some moisture I trailed my finger lower, below his balls, and massaged my way across the smooth and sensitive flesh of his perineum. When my finger stopped against his rim, Sawyer tensed, his back stiffening.
“Jake, I-I…” Ignoring his doubts once again, I slowly pushed my finger inside his puckered hole, causing his cock to start pulsating against the back of my throat. “Ah, fuck,” he groaned. He was close, and it made me feel like a fucking king. After letting his arse adjust to the intrusion, I slowly worked my finger in and out while continuing to suck him harder and faster. When I entered a second finger, he started falling apart. “Jake stop. Stop, I’m gonna, I’m gonna come…”
Of course I ignored him. I had fantasised about tasting every last drop of him too many times to give up now. So, pumping my two fingers in and out of his tight hole in line with the same fast rhythm of my mouth on his cock, I worked him until the end.
“Jesus, fuck!” he growled through clenched teeth, as hot spurts of the most delicious fucking nectar I’d ever tasted shot towards the back of my throat. Easing my fingers out of him, I stroked his balls one last time while I licked his cock completely clean. Climbing to my feet, I stared at Sawyer, watching as he panted with his eyes closed.
“You taste so fucking good,” I whispered against the throbbing vein in his neck, before kissing my way up to his ear.
Then it came…
The regret.
The doubt.
The fucking denial.
He pushed me off him with two hands pressed against my chest and when I looked into his eyes, bursting with what looked like shame, I knew I’d lost him. Again.
“You need to leave,” he said, his words swamped with guilt.
“Don’t do this Sawyer. You can’t tell me you didn’t want that. That you didn’t enjoy it? The taste in my mouth is proof that you fucking loved every damn second of what I just did to you.”
“Please,” he practically begged, shoving his semi-erect cock back into his pants. “Leave. Now.”
“I’ll leave,” I surrendered. “But I’m not leaving. I won’t give up on you, Sawyer. You mean too damn much to me and I know you feel the same. You’re just scared.”
“Fuck you!” he spat, anger making the vein in the centre of his forehead pop out. That vein has reared its ugly head for as long as I can remember. If he got into a fight back in high school, it would protrude so much I used to worry it might explode. “You’ve not seen me in fucking years, Jake. So whatever you think, you don’t know me at all! Now get the fuck out of here before I do something I regret.”
“Funny, I thought you just did that,” were the last words I said before straightening my tie and turning my back on him.
This is going to be harder than I thought. But not impossible. He was right about one thing. We have changed - we’ve grown up. Back then I was his follower, I’d have done anything he’d asked because I was so fucking in love with him. But now, I’m in charge. He’s still living so far back in the closet if he were to stumble he’d end up in fucking Narnia. He’s still afraid, scared to go after what he wants.
Good job I’m not. I’ve grown into a determined man – a confident man. I get what I want, always. And I will be getting Sawyer Knight.
Chapter Five
Damn him! Why is he doing this to me again? I’m not gay. I can’t be. I refuse to be! If what he’s insinuating got out, it would ruin me. The backlash from the public would be unbelievable. My mother would disown me. The guys in the band would never forgive me. Our manager would probably find a way to sue me and make damn sure I never worked again.
“Fuck this!” I growled, ramming my fist into the wall. I knew as soon as I pulled my hand away and noticed bubbles of blood erupting on the surface of my knuckles I would be in the shit with our makeup artist. Camouflaging cuts is practically impossible when they’re still bleeding.
“Sawyer?” I heard Laurelin calling through the door. I like my P.A. She’s only been with me twelve months but we get along pretty great. She reminds me a lot of Elle – she’s got that same sassiness to her, the same smart mouth. Of course, she doesn’t, and never will, know me as well as Elle does, but she knows where to find the best bagels in town no matter which city we travel to so that makes her a pretty perfect assistant, to me.
“What’s up, Lin?” I asked, opening the door to her.
“Wardrobe are ready to go through some outfits for you.”
“Well wardrobe will just have to fucking wait,” I snapped. “Sorry,” I immediately tacked on.
“Everything okay?” she asked, brushing her fingers along my forearm. In all honesty I’m not too comfortable with how touchy feely Laurelin is, but she’s the same with everyone so I just tend suck it up.
“Sure,” I lied. I’d never been more not okay. “I think I just need a decent coffee. Could you head out and get me one? The stuff in the machines here tastes like piss.”
“Of course,” she agreed. “I might even pick you up a Danish pastry if you’re lucky.”
“Ooo, you’re spoiling me,” I said, forcing a smile. “Have you seen Elle?”