Falling to my knees, I bring his trousers with me and hover my mouth in front of his hard cock, while rubbing my palms up and down the back of his thighs. The muscles in his legs are strong and sculpted, despite him neglecting his running of late, and I relish the firmness under my fingers as I wrap my mouth around his swollen head.
“God, James…”
Every word, every moan that leaves Theodore’s lips heals my fractured soul a little more. It won’t last, of course, as a voice in my head continues to remind me, but I don’t stop trying to push those thoughts away. I focus on Theodore, the feel of him in my mouth, the taste on my tongue, the sounds trickling from his throat…
Until he pulls back and falls to his knees in front of me.
“I don’t know how to help you,” he whispers, pain creasing his forehead as he rests it on mine.
“Make love to me, Theodore.”
Raising his head, eyes a little wider, he studies my face. “You mean…”
“Yes,” I breathe. “I want to feel you inside me. I need you.”
He replies with actions, cupping both sides of my neck and caressing my lips with the gentlest of kisses. His fingertips sear my flesh as he runs them down my chest, making me forget everything and everyone else in the world. His touch is all I can think about, and when he kisses his way down to my cock, I’m just a regular guy, a normal guy, aching to be taken by the man I love.
“I love you, Theodore,” I admit for the first time, my voice a breathy whisper.
“James, you don’t have to”-
“I mean it. I love that you’re here, that you’re trying to understand. I love your smile…” I run my finger across his lips. “Your laugh. I even love the little creases in your forehead when you’re pissed off with me. Just an hour ago I was suffocating, and now, with your skin on mine, I can breathe.”
“James,” he murmurs.
Placing one finger over his lips, I hush him. “I love you.” It’s probably the most honest, yet also the most selfish, thing I’ve ever said.
Sensing his hesitancy, I lie down on the floor, the thick rug soft under my back, and guide his hand to my cock. Locking my fingers over his, I slide his grip up and down my shaft, our gazes never parting.
Bending, Theodore peppers kisses across my chest, over my scars, over my heart, and I let go of all the hurt I felt just minutes ago. My pulse pounds in my throat, my breath catches, and when his lips land on my balls I lose all sense of who I am.
And it’s beautiful.
“I love you,” I whisper, arching my back and forcing myself into his mouth. “I love you.”
Now I’ve said it once, I can’t seem to stop repeating it. I need him to know, to believe, to feel it.
His mouth is too full to reply, but he moans against my weeping head and I feel the vibrations throughout my whole body.
“Oh God, Theodore…” I rasp when he slides a finger between his lips because I know what’s about to happen. My legs fall open a little wider and I stare at his curious expression as he gently pushes his finger inside me. My instinctive reaction is to tense, urge him away, but I fight it.
“Relax, James,” he says, crawling onto his knees until he’s nose-to-nose with me. “Focus on me. Just me. Let everything else go.”
Closing my eyes, I flick out my tongue, licking his lips as he draws his finger in and out of my body before adding another. He’s warm on my skin, his breath sweeps over my face, yet he still feels too far away.
“Now, Theodore. I need to feel you now.”
Easing his fingers out of me, he settles them on my balls, making me groan at the delicious heat encasing them. With one hand on my cheek, he smiles, and I’m mesmerised by the glisten in his vivid green eyes which are just inches away from my own. “Not yet.”
Sagging with disappointment, my eyebrows knit together in confusion. Does he want me to beg? Because I will.
“Theod-” I trail off when, still grinning, he crawls lower, kneeling between my legs.
The heat of his mouth hits me just seconds later as he licks small circles around my hole before sinking inside, making my thighs clench in desperation.
“Holy shit,” I whimper, fisting his hair.
Warmth. Moisture. Pleasure. Love.
My breaths trickle from my throat in long, deep sighs until I feel like I might literally combust if he doesn’t fill the ache in my ass, the need in my heart, right fucking now.
“Please, Theodore…”
He draws a zigzag up the seam of my balls with the tip of his tongue, along the rigid shaft, before finishing with a gentle flick on my swollen tip. “Wait there.”
I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. Goosebumps mottle my skin, mourning the loss of him as I watch him dig into my jacket pocket on the hook by the door. He rips open the condom as he walks back to me, rolling it over his perfect erection before dropping to his knees in front of me.
Instinctively, I start to roll over, but he stops me, keeping me in place with a firm hand on my shoulder. “I want you here with me,” he says. “I want to see you. Watch you.”
Nodding weakly, I offer a nervous smile while Theodore rips open the sachet of lube he found in my jacket. He drizzles some onto his cock first before, unexpectedly, doing the same to mine. Taking my hand, he curls my fingers around my throbbing dick and encourages me to massage in the silky coolness before resting his chest on top of mine, my knuckles brushing his taut stomach with every stroke.
I draw up my knees and, reaching down, he positions his tip at my puckered entrance. I swallow down the small lump of anxiety in my throat. It’s been years since I’ve let someone take me this way, and never once have I looked anyone in the eye when they did. But this is Theodore. I need him. I trust him. I want to look at him.