The guy in green starts talking but I shout over his voice when I see him flicking a needle in front of his face. “What’s that for?” He ignores me, and starts moving it towards my arm. “I don’t need that!” My back is rigid, the veins in my neck bulging as I try to move. The sharp needle pinches my skin and I growl into the air. “Get the fuck awa….”
**********
My eyes are still closed when I wake up again. I’m in a hospital. I can smell it. What the fuck have I done this time? I tell my eyes to open but only manage a small flicker. My mouth is dry, my mind foggy, and I know instantly that I’ve been sedated. The knowledge forces a groan to trickle from my throat and within seconds I’m being poked and prodded.
“Welcome back, Mr Holden,” I hear, presumably from a doctor.
Patronising bastard.
“Can you open your eyes for me?”
I’m trying, dick. Breathing heavily through my nose, I concentrate. With each flicker they open a little wider, making me squint as the harsh, artificial light pierces my pupils. Blinking rapidly, I see four figures surrounding me, their faces a little hazy. I can make out the blue scrubs well enough to know that three of them are medical professionals, but the fourth…
Fuck.
The fourth is Theodore.
“Can you tell me your name?”
Here we go. I’m frustrated but I know the drill. If I don’t answer they’ll just keep me here longer. “James Holden.”
“Date of birth?”
“Third of April, 1984.”
“Ah, happy birthday.”
Oh, fuck off. “Is it?”
“Who’s the prime minister?”
“David Cameron.”
“And what year are we in?”
“2015.”
I almost forget Theodore is here until he takes a step towards me. “Get him out of here,” I say, too disgusted with myself to look at him.
“You’re going to need somebody to accompany you home once you’ve been assessed,” the doctor informs me.
“Assessed for what?” Theodore asks, his voice low, timid.
“I said I want him out of here!” I demand. I don’t want him to see me like this. It will be all over Holden House by Monday morning. “Get my brother. His number’s in my phone.”
“I’m sorry, sir, we didn’t find a phone on you when you were brought in.”
Shit. I hear a woman’s voice telling Theodore he needs to leave but I raise my hand. “Wait. Theodore, give me your mobile.”
I can see him clearly now but I refuse to look into his eyes. He steps as close as he needs to, leaving a generous space between us, and hands me his phone. I tap Max’s number into it and pass it back. “Call him,” I say. “And then leave.” My tone is clipped. I’m ashamed, and I want him gone.
I don’t watch as he walks out. I can’t. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at him again. Instead, I close my eyes and continue to answer more inane questions while I wait for my psyche eval.
Chapter Five
~Theo~
Outside, near the ambulance bays, my pulse thuds in my ears as I hit ‘call’. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say because I don’t understand what’s going on. I’ve seen people drunk a thousand times, but James wasn’t just drunk, he was…hell I don’t even know what he was.
“Hello?” a man answers, and I gather a deep breath.
Crap. I don’t know your name. “Um, hi. Are you James Holden’s brother?”
“Yes. Where is he?” His words are rushed, panicked, almost as if he knows something’s happened.
“He’s in A&E. I-I’m not entirely sure what’s happened. I think he’s taken somethi-”
“Is he okay?”
“Oh, yeah, sorry. He seems fine now. The doctor is with him. He fell and hit his head. His wrist is swollen, too, so they’re sending him to X-ray soon.”
“Shit,” he mutters. “I can’t get there for a few hours. I’m in Glasgow, but I’m getting back in my car right now.”
“Okay,” I say, nerves making the word crack on my lips. I haven’t known James long but I know he’s not a patient person and I dread passing on the news.
“Did they sedate him?”
Why would he ask that? I’m taken aback by how un-surprised he seems by this situation. “Yeah. At least, I think so. They gave him something in the ambulance. He was, um, kicking off a bit.”
“Are you staying with him?”
“Um…”
“I assume you’re one of the friends he was celebrating his birthday with?”
I had no idea it was his birthday until he gave his date of birth to the doctor. It made my chest ache with sadness. No one should spend their birthday alone. Where were his friends? His family? There’s so much more to James Holden than he shows and I want to delve deeper as much as I want to run away.
“Actually, he’s just my boss. I don’t really know him that well.” I never wanted to know him. I still don’t. Only now it’s for different reasons. Now, it’s because I’m scared of what I’ll find.
“I understand,” he says. He sighs down the line, dejected.
“But I can stick around outside until you get here,” I offer, immediately wondering why the hell I’ve said it. James doesn’t want me here and, honestly, I don’t think I want to be here either.
“I’d appreciate that. Thank you. I’m setting off now.”
After telling him which hospital, we exchange goodbyes and I stare down at my phone. There are several texts from Ed wanting to know what’s going on. I’m not sure I should tell him, even if I knew, so I ignore it and tuck the phone back into my pocket.
I walk gingerly back inside the hospital and over to James’ cubicle. I hover outside his curtain for a few minutes, hoping a nurse will pass and I can give them his brother’s message. They all look so busy, though, and I don’t want to interrupt. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I give in and peel back the curtain, mentally bracing myself for James’ anger.
I expect him to yell, but when his gaze meets mine he simply looks away, staring at the wall. The sleeves of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and it’s the first time I’ve seen his tattoos in any kind of detail. One forearm is decorated to the wrist with Japanese artwork, but the other is bare. I wonder if his tattooed arm extends into a full sleeve and a heaviness descends on my chest when I realise I might never find out.