Of course, I was going to need protection from her once I told her who I was. I’d been afraid to tell her the truth. I had manipulated her. I had lied. I had deceived her. All the things that she said were unforgivable. If she was going back to complete the alliance, I knew it wasn’t to marry me—she was leaving to marry a man she’d never have a morsel of respect for. I was still that man. I couldn’t undo what I had already done. I had allowed my father to arrange a marriage for me. Papa. The complete bitter disdain in her voice was still fresh in my mind. It made my stomach sour.
“I botched this up, Sven.”
He shook his head. “No. Not you, boy. Two kingdoms did. Love’s always a messy affair better left to young hearts. There are no ground rules to follow. That’s why I prefer soldiering. I can understand it better.”
But there were rules. At least, Lia thought so, and I’d broken the most important one with my deception.
If one can’t be trusted in love, one can’t be trusted in anything. Some things can’t be forgiven.
I could argue that she was living a lie too, but I knew it wasn’t the same. She was a tavern maid now. That was all she wanted to be. She was trying to build a new life. I was only using my false identity for a time to get what I needed. I just hadn’t known before I came here that what I needed would be Lia.
Another rider came over the hill. Again, it wasn’t her. “Maybe it’s time to go?” Sven suggested. “She’s probably halfway to Civica by now, and it sounds like she’s more than capable of taking care of herself.”
I shook my head. Something was wrong. She would be here. I pulled my horse to the left. “I’m going to Terravin to find her. If I’m not back by nightfall, come looking for me with the others.” I dug in my heels and headed for the road.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
The landscape was barren and hot. They had covered my eyes through two more segments of the journey. Each time they pulled the hood from my head, a new world seemed to spread out before me. The one we faced now was dry a
nd unforgiving. Because of the intense heat, they slowed for the first time and were able to converse with each other, though they spoke only in their own tongue.
It was long past the time I was to meet Rafe. There were so many things I had wanted to say to him. Things I needed to say that he would never know now. He was probably already on his way home to his farm, believing I’d broken my promise to meet him.
I eyed the low hazy mountains in the distance, then turned to look back, but saw only more of the same behind me. How close to Terravin was Pauline by now?
Kaden saw me assessing the harsh panorama. “You’re quiet,” he said.
“Really? Forgive me. What shall we talk about? The weather?”
He didn’t answer. I didn’t expect him to, but I stared at him long and hard. I knew he felt my seething gaze, though he fixed his sights straight ahead.
“Do you need some water?” he asked, without looking at me.
I desperately wanted a drink, but didn’t want to take any from him. I turned to Eben, who was riding on my other side. “Boy, may I have my canteen back?” The last time they had unbound my hands and taken the hood off, I’d swung the canteen at Kaden’s head, so they confiscated it. Eben looked at Kaden, waiting for him to decide. Kaden nodded.
I took a deep swig and then another. Judging by this landscape, I knew I dared not waste any by dousing my shirt. “Are we still in Morrighan?” I asked.
Kaden half smiled, half grunted. “You don’t know your own country’s borders? How very royal.”
My caution snapped. It was the worst possible time to make a run for it, but I kicked my heels into my horse’s sides, and we flew over the hard-packed sand. The gallop of hooves was so swift and steady, it sounded like a hundred drums pounding out one continuous beat.
I couldn’t escape—there was nowhere to go in this vast empty basin. If I kept this pace up for long, the relentless heat would kill my horse. I pulled on the reins and gave him free lead so he could regain his breath and rhythm. I rubbed my hand on his mane and poured some precious water over his muzzle trying to help him cool out.
I looked back, expecting them to be upon me, but they only leisurely and smugly advanced forward. They weren’t going to risk their own horses when they knew I was trapped in this godsforsaken wasteland.
For now.
That became my silent invocation.
When they caught up with me, Kaden and I exchanged a severe glance but no more words were spoken.
The ride was endless. The sun disappeared behind us. My backside ached. My neck pinched. My clothes chafed. My cheeks burned. I guessed we had traveled a hundred miles.
The haze finally gave way to brilliant orange as the departing sun set the sky ablaze. Just ahead was a gigantic outcropping of boulders as large as a manor house that looked like they had been dropped straight from the sky into the middle of this wilderness. There was another flurry of words, and Griz did a lot of pointing and bellowing. He was the only one who didn’t speak Morrighese. Malich and Finch both had thick accents, and Eben spoke as flawlessly as Kaden.
The horses seemed to sense that this was to be our camp for the night and picked up their pace. As we got closer, I saw a spring and tiny pool at the base of one boulder. This wasn’t a random stop. They knew their path as well as any vultures of the desert might.
“Here,” Kaden said to me simply as he slid from his horse.