She’d nudged me at one point. “I’d hate to be this Ramses guy later. Because once LJ finds out…”
She’d whistled after that, making both Greer and I laugh. Apparently, all the guys were just as intense as Jaxen.
It honestly made me smile. These guys were so hard, but seemed to love just as hard. I mean, I saw that with all three of the other girls, and I don’t know. It just made me think about Jaxen. Made me think about him in a way that warmed my stomach. I wondered if he loved just as hard.
I had a feeling he did.
Anyway, after the, um, impromptu surprises, the party eventually settled down on the yacht. The strippers hadn’t stayed long since they’d been with us half the night, and the girls and I settled in for a more intimate dinner of laughter and conversation. It was nice, just sitting around and hearing everyone’s stories. They were all in college except for Kiki who was a working model, and Shakira and Birdie planned to go into pro ball after they graduated.
“So proud of my girls,” December had said, true joy on her face the whole night. Especially when things died down and she just got to be with her girls. She was always smiling, happy, and when she wasn’t talking or the topic of conversation, she played with the ring around her neck. I recognized it.
In fact, Billie and Greer had the same rings, playing with them often as well. They were like the ring that Jaxen wore. I asked Greer about that at one point. She and I had stayed pretty close in our band of awkwardness, and she said it’d b
een Knight’s and he gave it to her.
“It means something to all of them,” she said, grinning, and by the way the girls all played with their rings, I could see the symbol meant something to them now too. These guys were all so very intense, deep. They were multi-layered, and though they didn’t appear to wear their hearts on their sleeves, they seemed to not need to. They showed how they felt in other ways apparently, and that almost seemed, I don’t know. Better. More special.
I considered that while I thought about Jax, thinking about him definitely more than once. I wanted to call him, like every second just to talk to him. It reminded me of when he called me that day at the coffeehouse just to talk to me.
I may be getting in a little deep here. Actually, I was probably beyond that. I had serious feelings for him, hard ones. He made my stomach just feel like it was going to explode and unravel at the same time, but only in a good way. I wanted him so deeply, wanted it to work. I knew in my heart he could love just as hard.
I just hoped it wouldn’t break me.
After dinner, we were all just chilling on the yacht, having drinks and basking in the light ambience. The sun had set and the boat was docked so we all had clear views of moonlit water while a local jazz band played off shore. Funny enough, I had no anxiety about the setting where I might normally have had. I felt okay, at peace, and something I hadn’t felt for a long time being around the water. My little brother’s death had changed so many things.
Jax: Hey, how you doing?
I knew he had something to do with it, Jax, and he always seemed to pop in right when I was thinking about him. I smiled.
Me: Really good. How about you?
Jax: Well. You girls having fun? No issues with the water, right?
My heart warmed that he was thinking about that, about me.
I darted my gaze around. Now that things had died down, everyone just chatted on deck, nothing but smiles around. It’d been a pretty awesome night.
Me: I’ve been good. No issues. *smile emoji* The girls and I are having fun too. Just hanging out.
Jax: Cool, Girl Scout. Real, cool. I knew you’d be okay.
My heart danced again.
Jax: Glad you girls are having fun too.
Me: Yeah, we are. It’s been great.
Jax: Great. So, uh, anything you want to tell me?
Crap.
Me: Tell you?
Jax: LOL. Yes, Girl Scout. Anything you want to tell me? Think long and hard.
Oh, no.
I didn’t want to panic, though, and give both myself and everyone else away.