Then let himself fall.
Now, in the back of my mind, I knew nothing was wrong. The water was deep enough to swim. He’d be fine, but in that moment, I didn’t see him anymore.
I saw someone else.
Memories from my past grappled their fearful hold on me, and I couldn’t help rushing over to the rails to check and see if my stepbrother, of all people, was okay. This was so terribly, terribly stupid. Of course, he was okay.
Of course, he could swim.
My panic didn’t allow for reasonable thoughts, though, nothing but my past in full swing in my mind. I got to the side of the boat and peered over, searching the water, searching for anything, but all I came up with was empty water. No one was there.
Until there was.
A body, still and belly down floated several feet away in the sun. The ocean carried him, my stepbrother spread eagle and facedown in the middle of deep blue water. I must have screamed, but I didn’t remember.
I was too busy climbing over the rails myself.
I hit current almost instantly and completely flailed, my body forgetting… everything. It was like I couldn’t remember anything. Not my swim lessons or the years of therapy I’d had to remove my fear of water. It was like the terror wasn’t completely erased.
And never could be.
I knew that now, kicking beneath the steady waves. My vision clouded, all I saw was a weighted little body, one who’d sunk clear down to the bottom of the pool. His eyes were closed.
He was already dead.
My little brother Nathan had drowned, and now, I was about to drown too, my gasping lungs filling deeply with water. I choked, struggling for some kind of air or breath.
Instead, I got hands.
Strong hands lifted me, later, cradling me. I hit a hard chest, pressed close, and kicking legs darted us to the surface.
My lungs filled with air the moment I breached the surface, hacking as I gripped my arms around a neck and my legs around a thick waist.
“It’s okay, Cleo. It’s okay.”
A voice, deep and strong kept saying that. Over and over kept saying that. Despite, my fear lingered on, absolutely terrified. I held on for dear life, holding tight and not wanting to let go. I smelled spices and aftershave.
I smelled him.
I knew it was Jax without even looking at him, holding him close while others shouted in the distance. Royal was in the water too. I saw him swimming out to us, yelling at us. “Is she okay?” he asked, complete horror in his eyes. “Is she alive?”
Jax said nothing, only holding on to me and swimming right past him. He swam so fast I couldn’t measure the time between almost drowning and getting back to the boat. He wouldn’t let go of me until we got completely there, and even then, he pushed LJ off me after the tall guy had pulled us both back onto the boat.
The whole gang was there. Even Knight and Greer had surfaced, their eyes wide in utter terror, but Jax, he pushed everyone away from me.
“Back the fuck off her!” he bit out, then hovered over my face. He had water droplets gathered thickly in brown eyelashes, his unruly hair wet and incredibly curled. He caged my face. “Girl Scout? Look at me. Can you breathe?”
I gasped, still coughing. Royal had made it up out of the ocean too at this point, and he’d gone in completely clothed. He still had his flip-flops on. “Jax…”
But Jax’s attention was only on me, his fingers pulling my hair out of my face. It’d completely gathered around my neck, so long.
“Cleo?” he gasped, his thumbs completely trembling on my cheeks. That’s when I realized he was just as shaky as me, his cool, green eyes completely unfurled with terror. I’d scared him.
But he’d scared me first.
One of those thumbs brushed the corner of my lips, words on his own lips. I never got to hear them.
Because I was too busy hitting him.