Kit had been behind the counter, a barista apron on and since the place had been so busy, I hadn’t noticed her until I was too late. I stared at my best friend since freshman year in the face, her blond curls tied back and looking so petite before me. Since I was so tall, I could literally lay my head on top of hers in photos.
She’d stopped, of course, mid-call-out and clearly surprised to see me too. We were about three weeks into classes at this point, and she’d pretty much given up on trying to talk to me. She hadn’t even been texting anymore, just coming and going. That last day she’d stood outside my door she’d said she would back off, that she’d wait for me to come to her when I was ready.
How ironic as that was exactly what ended up happening here today.
She rubbed her hands on her apron, sliding in front of the cash register. She opened her mouth to say something to me, but I stepped back.
“Cleo!”
I walked off, darted around the other patrons in line, but her hand looped around my arm.
“Just let me get you a coffee. Jesus, stop please!”
I was ashamed and couldn’t even look at her, and definitely didn’t want to stop. I tugged my arm free, but she got it again. I faced her. “I don’t want to talk.”
“I know.” She raised her hands as if I were a small child she may scare off.
She just might.
A sweep of her blond curls she pulled out of her face. Some had fallen from her ponytail, a crushed tone to her cheeks from her mad dash after me. She huffed. “Just let me get you your coffee order, okay? Did you use the app?”
I nodded, and before I could protest, she walked off. She sprinted back behind the counter, and though I could have darted off, I stayed. She came back in like three seconds, but was very much sans coffee.
She chewed her lip. “We have to make it over. One of the new people misread the—”
“Forget about it.”
“Please, Cleo. God.” Hands on my arm, she squeezed. “Please, just let me remake it. After I do, you can leave. Just let me please.”
A slow pain seared my insides at the harsh plea in her eyes. She wasn’t to blame in this situation. I knew that.
It was just so hard.
I just kept seeing her, seeing her with him, and it brought everything back with him and me. Stomaching my pride, I slid my arm out of her hands, folding them. “Okay, that’s fine.”
One would have thought I granted her dearest wish with the sudden light in her eyes, and that made me feel even worse. She told me, “Two seconds,” before she was off, and huffing, I decided to take a seat while I waited. I ended up over by the windows since the place was so busy, staring out at the beach. I watched the waves for a while before I had to turn away, feeling a little sick again. I was usually okay by the water.
But not always.
That was excruciatingly hard since I lived by water my whole life, but usually, I was pretty good about it. I didn’t have anxiety attacks anymore and funny enough, large bodies of water didn’t freak me out as much as other things. Sometimes I just got these triggers I couldn’t handle. Storms too hard on my windshield for example.
Swimming pools…
My gaze pulled up at the appearance of my friend, her grin too wide with a coffee in her hands. “Medium mocha latte with almond milk and no whipped cream.”
I thanked her, truly thanked her. Coffee sounded very good right now and always helped as it was something comforting. I took those comforts where I could these days, and she used to be one of them.
Kit rubbed her hands, then eventually, took it upon her self to sit at my table. She must have been working, but she seemed not to care.
“Cleo,” she started, wrestling so hard with her hands. This was killing her, killing me and I knew that, but… “You have to know how sorry I am. I really didn’t know Jaxen was your stepbrother, and had I known, I definitely wouldn’t have hooked up with him. Fuck, knowing what I know now about him, I totally wouldn’t have. That guy’s a total asshole.”
A chuckle, light but it did sound. It was a relief to hear it, feel it. I felt so alone in the fact that I did know who Jaxen was. He had both my parents wrapped around his finger. Meanwhile, I was off on this island by myself.
Seeing my laughter, Kit’s eyes shined. She took my hands. “I mean, he totally is, right? What kind of guy doesn’t share that he’s your friend’s stepbrother?”
“That one,” I said, totally knowing that. “He’s awful.”
“I can see that. Jesus.” Another lip bite as she looked at me. “I really didn’t know. He honestly just said he was our new roommate. And dude, I never do stuff like that but he’s like… seriously hot and oh my God so charming it’s scary. I mean, it was like he hypnotized the panties off me or something.”