It kept it fresher longer, at least that had been my logic. That’s how we kept it at my parents’ house growing up, but Sinclair had always left it out so I’d adjusted.
Nodding, he didn’t protest before putting it inside the chrome refrigerator. After, he slid his hands in his pockets, and I invited him to come sit at my dining room table.
He gazed around before sitting himself in the oak chair. “Looks like you changed things a little.”
I’d basically been living out of boxes before, having just moved in, so I guess I had. Even still, I didn’t want to talk about the state of my rental. I hugged my arms. “What’s this about? Why are you here?”
The restless way he tugged and pulled at his dark hair told me he definitely had something on his mind. A heavy something. He laced his fingers together. “I think I made a mistake, Bill. A mistake about us?” He shook his head. “We never should have broken up.”
Shocked, but honest to God I couldn’t keep my laughter in. I sat back. “Well, that’s nice. How many vaginas did you have to fall into in order to figure that out?”
His cringe was evident, and hearing that, I swore he actually looked sick to his stomach. He shook his head. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t about sex.”
“Obviously, since we barely had any.” I mean, I pretty much had to beg him to touch me, always an excuse about being busy or tired. “So you’ve figured out we’re supposed to be together?”
“Yeah, I have, and I just want you to hear me out. I was confused.”
“Confused about what?”
“I don’t know. Us?” He waved a hand back and forth. “I mean, we got together, and it was like ‘Hear Comes the Bride’ was playing on loop after our first date. Especially from my parents.”
“I never pressured you to get married.”
“I know, but maybe you should have.” Suddenly, his hands found mine, and for whatever reason, I didn’t pull away. “Maybe you should have made me man up.”
“That’s not my responsibility, Sinclair.”
“I know, and I also know now that the possibility of you and me being final scared me, but it doesn’t now. You know my brother got engaged? Jack?”
I may have heard about it like three times from Mom. She kept up with all that stuff, stuff in our circles when I couldn’t have cared less. I shrugged. “So?”
“Well, he’s so happy, Billie,” he stated, smoothing his hands over mine, and I hated that it felt good. I loathed that if felt familiar, and I latched onto it like treasure. I’d been so lonely lately, the only fire I’d had…
I forced stupid thoughts away, staring at my ex now. “He was happy. So what?”
“So I realized how stupid I was to let you go. Us go?” His hands tightened around mine. “I thought I was confused about some things, but I know we’re right. We’re perfect for each other, Billie. Your family likes me, and mine loves you.”
That’s what I’d thought too, which had been why I was so confused when he’d thrown us so casually away. I’d felt so bitter after, vulnerable, and I’d done stupid things.
I thought about LJ’s hands on me, that fire burning and a moment that never should have happened. It should have always been Sinclair and me.
I guessed I’d been confused too.
“I just want a chance,” he said, swallowing hard. “We can start fresh. Start from scratch.”
I pulled my hands away, sliding back to me. “You hurt me. It hurt a lot, and I don’t think I can just…”
“So how about we just hang out then?” He laced his fingers with mine, and this time, I didn’t let go. He smiled a little. “We can come back to each other. Slow. Just hang out. Friends at first.”
Gazing up, I wanted nothing more than that. I wanted it because it was easy and he was right, we were perfect for each other. We were a delightful little equation of pristine numbers and exquisite figures that ultimately added up to the perfect arrangement. Perfect was easy.
Perfect wouldn’t get me in trouble.
Chapter Twelve
LJ
I spied them from my seat on the couch, Niko beside me and a girl under my arm while I drew off a beer. It took me a second to realize exactly what I was seeing, Billie and that asswipe ex-boyfriend of hers. Oh, I knew all about them, how he’d broken up with her after I’d basically busted out his ass right in front of her. He’d come to one of my parties all right, had a good time, and I’d made sure she knew about it. I’d heard he’d broken up with her shortly after that, though…