I let Midas take my hand, and he leads me out of his rooms and into the hall. Nodding to some guards, he opens the door across from his. I step inside with him and look around the dark room, though all I can see by the weak moonlight is a pillowy bed.
Letting go of me, Midas walks to the wall and closes the curtains, while I go lie down. I barely have the energy to pull back the covers before I slip onto the feathery mattress.
I stiffen when I feel the bed dip as Midas lies down beside me. He wastes no time pulling me in and arranging me so that my head rests on his chest. I’m like a block of ice against him, refusing to melt, wanting to slide away.
“Relax, Auren,” he commands. “Rest now. I’ll stay until you fall asleep.”
A snort nearly escapes me. That’s about as comforting as being told there’s a monster under your bed, only, this one is lying down on it with me.
But my tiredness wins against stubbornness.
Inch by inch, I do settle in his hold. Yet when he starts to run a soft caress over my arm, I press my lips closed tight. Hate and sadness sweep through me, but I try to stave off the emotions that try to swell inside of me like a bloated cloud.
Numb. I need to stay numb. Unfeeling, uncaring, behind a thick wall where he can’t affect me ever again.
“You’re my precious girl.” It’s a murmur in the dark, a coax slipping through his shadowed lips.
I hate that he’s so good at this. I don’t want him to hold me, and yet, it was all I ever wanted for so damn long, and he knows it. Which is why a slow, cold tear drips down my cheek and lands on his tunic as he pets my hair.
“I love you, Auren.”
Liar.
What a fake, conniving, devious liar.
“I missed this,” he says through a yawn. Maybe that part is at least true for him, or maybe it’s just another deceit to pull me in.
Either way, I give myself this moment. Just this one. For the innocent girl who lost the love she thought she had, I let her have this. Because this...this is her quiet goodbye.
Beneath my anger and the numbness are the bruised pieces of a broken heart. And that part of me, that girl who was doe-eyed and head over heels, she’s in mourning beneath my bitter anger.
So for that part of me, I let out a shaky breath that vibrates like thunder. Then I press my ear against his chest one last time to hear a song that I thought played just for me.
I focus on the steady beat, and another tear falls with its rhythm as he strokes my hair, because it’s not love I’m listening to. It’s just possessive control. It’s so loud, I can’t believe I didn’t hear it before.
“You’re right back where you belong,” he declares.
I close my eyes, wet lashes like drops of dew against my cheek.
If we shifted, if it were his head pressed against my chest, would he hear? Would he hear the sound of my heart and know what it means? Would he recognize the lyrical loathing?
I fall asleep listening to the constant thrum of our chests, to the two mismatched tunes that will never play in harmony. I let that girl in me break away beat by beat, saying goodbye in her own silent way.
When I wake up, I’ll make sure my heart is hardened. Come morning, I’ll make sure it only plays a song for me.
Chapter 4
KING MIDAS
Sitting inside the iron gazebo, I’m pensive as I absently watch the men working throughout the courtyard. I find the cold air of Fifth Kingdom refreshing, the perfect sharpness to give one clarity.
The bench beneath me is cushioned with straw-stuffed leather that was probably comfortable at one point but has long since gone flat.
Set at my side, my ledger book is like a pair of eyes glaring at me. Inside are all my notes, all my plans, things needing to be done. It’s written in code I only use for myself, even though I always keep it with me. You can’t trust people, so one can never be too careful, and I have too much at stake.
The demands of running not just one kingdom but two weighs heavily on my shoulders. All the things I must do have become an incessant pressure that buzzes in my head during all my waking hours.
Now that Auren is back with me, I can focus more ardently on Ranhold. It needs the attention.